Iffy at best

The lastest installment of "Things I saw written on the bathroom wall in a Catholic University":

"Everything's legal if no one knows you're doing it"

How true, how true. Sounds like the punchline to a comic strip...

--SUNDAYMONDAYSUNDAYBYU2--

If I ever have the opportunity, and by opportunity I mean money, I will buy one of these. Seriously. To my knowledge those things the most beautiful objects man can posess. Woman too for that matter...if said woman happened to be an artist, like the man is. Well...ok, that's just an assumption on my part, that the man is an artist. So let's go with this: It's the best thing that anyone can posess. If I had any more teeth to lose I'd hide one under my pillow and ask for one of these tablets.

Monday's starting off pretty well. I'm drinking coffee steadily and trying not to fall asleep. It was an amazingly long weekend and I'm really not prepared for today. It's pay-day though so THINGS could turn around at any moment.

This weekend i did some sketching, nothing too strenuous. I sketched out a new comic strip for next monday and did some other smaller stuff. Wasn't really in the mood to work on the comic book or do anything for the website. Doesn't help that Bava got the last disk of LOST. That show is wayyy too addictive.

I really can't concentrate right now. At all. I feel kinda like I'm torn between two worlds, neither foot really planted...or that's just my mcdonald's breakfast coming back to haunt me.

Seriously. Read the f'n comic strip I draw. I mean come on...I draw it!

Tim: Hmm...la casa comics...you Spanish?
Ahniwa:no man, I'm Italian. You?
Tim: Dude, I'm f'n Irish. Is Theo?
Ahniwa: Hell no, dude's like English or something.
Tim: Whoah...lame. So what's with La Casa?
Ahniwa: Hell if I know.

Answer here!

Wow! It's Small Toy Figurines Walking Through Elephant Grass Monday! STFWTEGM! ENJOY!

Some substances should be illegal.

Speaking of illegal, I found the crime stats for Coffee County, Georgia. wow. Coffee County.

Better start prayin' now, 'cause the dude has got no mercy.

--IDON'THEARTPANTS--

I'm not a shy person. Never really have been. But I play one on tv. And that has made all the difference.

They say that randomality is the new funny. I want YOU to enjoy enchilada Friday!

I was supposed to spend last night drawing. Instead I spent it playing pool and thinking about my time in France. I think there are good and bad ways to spend ones time on this planet. Pool, darts, drawing, and making out are the highest on my list. Thank god they're all free!...except the making out. Unless you're one of the lucky ones *shudder*

So now that it's officially Enchilada Friday, I say we boogie! *dances*

The comic is still going strong. I really wanna spend this weekend working on a decent Sunday strip. I've got a couple ideas I'm working on and they seem to be going ok. Just need some time to work. Thank god the weekend is TWO FULL DAYS! Freakin' A!

As an artist, there are usually a small group of influences one can list off the the top of ones head. Were one so inclined. Anyway, last night I was in bed and picked up my copy of Scud: The Disposable Assassin. Rob Schrab, the creator of this glorious comic is one of my influences.

I read Scud for the first time in high school and loved it. The artwork, the story about a robot who can't kill his target without self-destructing, it captivated me.

The next influence is Calvin and Hobbes. I started reading this way back in the day, don't remember exactly when, but both the artwork and the story-telling ability hooked me in from the beginning.

The next inlfuence a little bit more obscure. A friend in college, a fellow artist, lent me his copy of a comic book called 'Crimson'. The style of art was something I had never seen before. It was a bizarre cross between manga and the classic american comic book. The author is a guy name Humberto Ramos. He started out doing Spiderman and then got a contract with Image comics to do some of his own stories. My favorite is 'Crimson' but a close second is his series, 'Out There'. If you have access to a comic book store, go find these books. They are very good.

These influences are the way i would LIKE to draw. My artistic style is still developing and I'm constantly trying new things, but these are the guys who got me into comics in the first place. God bless you guys.

--NOTHEYDIDN'TSNEEZE--

I haven't forgotten about my blog...I've just...been busy. Yeah, that's the ticket!

Drawing has been taking up almost all of my free time. I get home from a long day of hard work and I whip out my drawing pad, put on some tunage, and go nuts.

Been listening to Kanye West, Portishead (classic stuff)(both sites suck, so no links). Good drawing music.

There are some things that I hope to add to the site in the near future. The first is an art gallery. Drawings that I do. I do a lot of small comic drawing, usually with a pencil, that would be really easy to scan. I'm extremely self-conscious of this kind of stuff, but I figure that since I'm producing a web comic anyway, it couldn't hurt.

The next thing is going to be a cookie jar. The cookie jar takes donations. For a $5 donation, you get a beautiful b&w sketch by yours truely. For a $10 donation you get a custom La Casa Comics wallpaper with your favorite character doing something oddly amusing.

The last thing that I am looking to do, probly 'bout december, is start releasing my first full color comic. It'll look like a comic book or maybe like Copper, but it's about a bunny and a robot that are cops. It'll be a side project, don't worry. La Casa will continue on.

on another note: I love that Cheryl Swoopes is happy with being gay, but seriously, does it deserve the cover of the NYtimes?

--COFFEEADDICTSUNITE!--

Superman ain't got nothin' on me. 'cause I'm a rock-star.

I'm back at work. It's exactly as interesting as when I left it. It's kind of a let-down. I was hoping there'd be gun battles, or at the very least an elephant. But there isn't.

I'm taking a half-day.

The comic strip is going really well. I enjoy doing the art. I would like to ramp it up to a daily strip, but I fear the story quality and art would go severely downhill. I'm in the process of doing all the La Casa strips on my computer, but I'm running into problems with my laptop. Nothing serious really, I'm just realizing that trying to run a drawing program with maximized resolution doesn't really work that well on a laptop with only 500mb of ram. I need a new computer. And to quit my job. I wish the comic could pay my salary. I'd love to just do that for work.

We're getting about 14 unique visits to the website each day. I'm really stoked about that! if people are reading on the days we're not updating, I think that when we start going nutso with advertising we might be able to make a fair ammount of money. Won't pay my salary, but whatever. We'll see.

Other than that there really is nothing else going on. I'm really tired right now and I think I'll be laying down for a nap when I get home from work. That's it.

--LOVELYDAYFORATRISCUIT!--

yes, I'm still awake.

Anyway, if you haven't read all of Dr. McNinja, do it. NOW.

Paul Bunyan's disease. Hilarious.


--HAVEYOUBEENLUMBERJACKING?!--

so, it's fuck-early in the morning and I get this email at my school email account. It was in Korean and at first I thought it was from one of my ESL students, but no. It was SPAM. Lordy, was it spam. hehe. check this out. Korean, a la Babelfish:

In hip gout/lumbago/disk shoes hyo one bedspread needle medical therapy In consequence of the fact that the tree toe just at one hip gout/the lumbago/initiation label/bedspread incontinence/frigidity/the hemorrhoids/the leucorrhea cung/physiology,/ Physiological impurity/bed-wetting/constipation/diarrhea/it prevents a large enteritis back thousands branch disease and the sickle there is a possibility The thing, to accept also anatomy knowledge without and be strenuous.

And this continues. Trust me, it gets better.

The bedspread needle researches vertebral elastic curve in dissection of a human body school register and it makes, it talks again, human body engineering With as the tree toe screen which it made it learns the method lower part well and if it writes steadily and the waist bone crosses each other, The possibility of closing the thing only it will be the bay it knows, the possibility catching rightly that the waist bone is already crossing each other, Will be

Whoah...I mean, seriously. WTF?!

Our love it falls poverty and with disease U it lives from the inside which puts The warm sun and it wants in these people. With warm sun inside U the poverty which wanders from the inside which puts and with disease pain the neighborhood where it receives One which invites, when we will not do and there does not have to be a possibility the who doing Will know well. Love the family which falls all it supplicates a health and a peace and it finishes.

That's the end. Sorry.

What I don't understand is this: Isn't spam supposed to be advertising? What is this advertising? First of all, it's sent to an American and it's in Korean. So if I wanted to know what it was about, I would have to translate it. THEN, when translated, it's complete nonsense. What the hell is this advertising? There were no images and no links. I don't get it. F'n Korean spam man.

I'm going to bed because it's early. Ugh.

oh yeah, and I posted a sunday strip. HERE!!!!

--LETTHELIGHTSBLINKALLNIGHT--

There really is nothing like a good convelescence. I may have misspelled it, but I know this for a fact! Fact that ass up!

Anyway, this weekend is shaping up pretty well. The g/f is out of town and I've been spending most of my time drawing. Of course, I spend most of the time that she's here just drawing and watching movies so I really don't know what the big deal is.

Tonight I'm going out to play pool with my friend Adrian...sorry, no blog, no link.

Other than that, this weekend has been really uneventful. Right now I'm making hot dogs and listening to loud house music, live from Paris. Seriously, there ain't nothin' like a good mix from France. If you understand French. Et moi, je parle fraincais. assez bien, mais quand meme!

I totally changed it up on the comics. I'm now doing them WAAYYY ahead of time and completely on my computer. I've learned the joy of photoshop and as long as I did a sketch before hand so I know the perspectives, I can get a pretty good approximation of my pencil sketch. We'll have to wait and see how that developes.

--LIVELONGANDPROSPER--

Well, recovery is going well. If you've been keeping up with the comics you know that I'm still alive and kicking, but this blog sure hasn't seen much asction.

Thanks for the links guys, those were fantastic!

I'm sick of soup. No soup for me. At all.

I've also watched so many movies and tv shows on dvd I think I'm going a bit crazy. I watched the first three disks of LOST, all of Rescue Me, the 5th season of the sopranos and an incredible number of movies. I've been keeping up with the news online.

The drawing has been going really well lately. I've done enough strips to get through the end of October now so it's time for a writing session with Bava. That inludes, beer, pool, and a writing tablet on which to place our enlightening ideas.

Space Holder.

Today, at 4pm, I get the stables out of my abdomen. I'm not happy about that.


--NOTHAPPYBUTSURVIVIN'--

Hernia surgery sucks ass. trust me. it's gawd awful in ways that rainbows aren't.

The surgery itself went really well, I went out like a frickin' light when the drugs were in me and then in the recovery room I did pretty well too. Last night though? that's when shit started to hurt.

I'm popping two vicadin every 4 hours and I still can't move from my bed. I've been laying here trying to watch movies since 7am. I can't sleep because I'm wide awake and I can't read because I'm woozy and can't open my eyes. it sucks because I really wanna freakin' draw!

OH well.

geez, time to change the ice pack. I catch you guys later. Any links to cheer me up? post 'em in the comments!

--DON'TDRIVELIKEMYBROTHER--

So yeah, at 1:30pm today I go under the knife. Shouldn't be that bad, but if you don't hear from my by Sunday, then...deal with it. I'm probably more doped up than I should be.

Nothing at all happening this morning.

Our comic is up. There'll be a new one on Friday. Because it's M/W/F. More if you give us cookies. The entire comic is fueled by Awesome and Cookies.

--LEARNTOLOVEIT--

Coooookies!

So the new comic site is up. Here, here and here.

La Casa has an interesting story behind it and I'll re-tell it now.

Way back in the day, one of my uncles was living in Germany. He came back and found a place to live in California that was COMPLETELY ghetto. It was a two story house that was falling down, was surrounded by a junk yard, a muffler repair place and a parking garage. Some of the doors opened to nothing. It was like a mystery house.

In the back was a makeshift skate park / luau spot and there were beer cans and food wrappers everywhere. Honestly, it was the ultimate bachelor pad.

Someone in the house (he had like 6 roommates at one point) was learning Spanish and so there were little stickers all over the place with the word for what that thing was in Spanish. On the front door was the word, 'La Casa'. And the name stuck.

So when Bava, Wyltbam and I moved into our house together, we turned it into a bachelor's paradise...without the martini bar. I decided that it was worthy of the name La Casa and, since the strip is about us and the house, the comic strip was babtized La Casa Comics.

It's gonna be great, trust me.

In this edition of "Things I saw written on the bathroom wall in a Catholic University!": NIXANWAR.

wtf?

Anyway, I got stuff to do. No more dilly-dallying for me.

--BACKTOTHEGRINDSTONE--

I'm feeling a tad spastic this morning, but in general I'm doing great.

Last night was my last night of swing dancing for a while because of the issue we discussed yesterday. That's gonna be very hard. I had a good time dancing though.

I also managed to complete the transfer process of my comics. They have now transcended to the higher, more awesome, digital realm. Bava is nice enough to build them a realy cool home, which you will get to see very soon.

I really don't have anything else to report.

MESH!

Back later.

--YOMAMASTHEBIGGESTMAMA--

I find it highly amusing that when I don't have any visitors I really want the world to know what I'm doing, but when I get a lot of visitors I don't know, I kinda want annonymity. Crazy.

I've almost finished Tuesday's crossword puzzle. Work is that f'n difficult. That's going to be the nice thing about getting this hernia gone. I go in for surgery on Thursday at 2:30pm and then get to go home later that evening. I get Friday and Monday off and I've optioned Tuesday. I will make sure that doesn't interfere with either my blog updates and/or the comics. If anything it'll make me more productive.

I just went down to the cafeteria. It's amazing the shit people find to bitch about when there's nothing to bitch about. One woman was complaining that the coffee wasn't quite warm enough and a girl was complaining about the selection of cookies. Wow.

My coffee smells like an Expo marker, you don't see me complaining.

I gotta go get stuff done. Postmorelater.

--DON'TYOUWISHUPONASTARDON'TYOUDARE--

So, this morning has actually been eventful...but probly not in the way you're thinking. In fact I can pretty much say it's not for certain.

I went to the doctor this morning. Actually, I went to a surgeon. It was for a bulge on the lower part of my abdomen that was starting to...well, bulge.

I had a physical last week and so I pointed it out to the doc. He looked at it and said, 'yessir, it's a hernia.' Of course I had heard horror stories about intestines dropping down into nether regions and I fell deathly silent. The doctor noticed and reassured me. He said that it mostly happens to older men, but it happens to a large segment of the population.

I went in to see the surgeon this morning and he confirmed everything. I have an Inguinal Hernia. (don't worry, no pics)

So that's why I took the morning off. What's your excuse?

here's a gratuitous picture of a lion. Enjoy Lion Tuesday!

--BADBOYTOTHEMAX--

I keep forgetting that it's columbus day because I'm at fucking work. I don't understand this holliday for myriad reasons, but whatever.

I think I may have mentioned this before, but our school got so fascinatingly disrupted by the changing political structure that a student or students created an underground newspaper.

On one hand I think that it's great that the voice of democracy is alive and well at a largely catholic school. But on the other, this is really f'n devious. There is a LOT of criticism leveled at new faculty, staff and at everyone's appearance. Attention ladies and gentlemen, the faceless fashionistas have arrived.

To say that my emotions are mixed is an understatement. I have seen ratemyprofessors.com and I believe that if you want to criticise someone on the internet, go for it. But seriously, when it's in print and shoved underneath every door in the school, that goes a little bit too far. The new faculty have only been here 6 weeks and can't even maneuver around campus. To expect perfection is kind of naive. I've taught classes at this school before and living up to the ever-changing standards of the administration is a full-time job. Let alone trying to teach on top of it.

That being said, I think that with a little experience and a LOT more focus, this underground newspaper has potential. Keep it up, but for chissake, do NOT put them EVERYWHERE on campus. It's a waste of paper.

So yeah, happy columbus day.

If I had fantasy world, it would be a magical place. Seriously dude. MAGICAL. Animals would talk to you and all the drinking fountains would pour forth...diet pepsi.

Wait.

I hate pepsi. What the hell. someone hijacked my f'n fantasy world!

Why don't they make a pain-reliever strong enough? They make ones ALMOST strong enough, something that just kinda takes the edge off, but none of them really DO the trick for you. I was lifting all this heavy shit and my name brand pain-reliever dropped his end of the piano. I'm telling you, THAT f'n sucked. Three flights of stairs, straight the fuck down. No more piano.

I'm tired and filthy. This blogging shit is heavy and deep. I'm gonna go rinse off and take a nap.

--PLEASEDONOTASSASSINATEME--

Well, I'm pleased as punch with myself. I just finished the NYtimes crossword puzzled. Talk about time well spent.

Greatest quote from NPR during their, "GIVE US MONEY YOU BITCHES!" drive, "It's like...an addiction. You gotta feed it. Wouldn't you rather spend your money on us than drugs?" Yes, that's an actual quote.

So far nothing has happened today and I'm really not gonna be surprised if nothing happens this afternoon either. It's slow. What can I say. And this fund drive on npr is driving me crazy! That one quote was hilarious, but I doubt I'll hear anythign like that again. I think it's time to change radio stations. For a week.

--PROVERBIALSUBMITTER--

This is a scary ass way to start a monday. Good morning!

Overall it was a pretty good weekend. Friday night there was a swing dance performance at Arts Walk and that was fun. It was the first performance in front of people I've ever done and I had a really good time. Then I got kinda loopy drunk.

Saturday I spent watching movies with the g/f. Saw Amityville Horror, and some other movies I can't remember. Must've been great.

Sunday I started drawing again. I inked two strips last night! I'm stoked. My drawing style is going to change pretty quick after the first couple are posted. Oh, and I'll have the new comic link up before too long. It's going to be a M/W/F comic with something goofy on the weekend that'll be just for fun.

I warn you, it's gonna be ghetto when it first starts. Bava's designing the website and we're using blogger...because we're broke ass white boys from suburbia. But if you stick with the strip I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised by my amazing fantastical drawings combined with Bava's razor-like wit. It'll rock, you'll see.

Anyway, I've got stuff to do this morning. I'll post again this afternoon.

--ROOMDEPOSITISREFUNDABLE--

Whenever you think your life is messed up and you're feeling depressed, deal with it. Then read this article of kids choking themselves to death. FOR FUN.

What really astounds me about these articles is that the parents are always shocked. "We never saw it coming! I didn't see the signs!" But this is what you get when parents let CHILDREN have virtual autonomy while growing up. If you aren't completely involved in your child's life, you have no right to complain about what they do when they're not around you.

My parents didn't rule me with an iron thumb, but my mom definately knew where I was and what I was doing at all times. It's just kinda how she did things. At the time I thought she was an oppressive dictator, but now I really appreciate her style of parenting.

Another thing in the article that I just noticed was that quote:

Children have likely been playing the "choking game" for a long time, Connecticut-based child psychologist Dr. Lawrence Shapiro told The Associated Press.

Wait. What? No WAY! <--sarcasm

The kid gets it right when he says:

"What's the big deal? I'm not taking any drugs; I'm not drinking or anything."

That really is the way kids think. Especially at 13-14. It'd be good to keep in mind how old these kids are. Has anyone else seen the movie "thirteen"? It's really good. It doesn't have anything to do with the choking game, but it does have an interesting perspective on that age bracket.

--REDEMPTIONVALUE--

There is no recovering from this kind of thing.

So yeah, the dinner last night was...curious. It was hosted by the president of the university and all I can say about it is that I had lots of free wine. Chianti Classico. Good stuff.

And now I'm drinking coffee. Second cup of the day.

My back hurts. I've been sleeping very poorly at night and though I get about 7 hours of sleep, I've managed to sleep on my right shoulder enough that the tension between my shoulder and neck is getting out of control. I can't afford a massage right now though. That sucks.

Over the last couple days I've been having this bizarre conversation about men staring at women's breasts. It started because I saw this chick in the mall with a this shirt. I commented on it to a friend and she said that it is, in fact, a serious problem. There are men in her office that don't even know she has a face.

I mentioned this to the g/f and she said that it's not unwelcome unless you're wearing something that says, "Don't look at my breasts!"...like a turtleneck sweater. At that point I laughed.

I'm a big fan of the turtleneck sweater and sometimes they can be sexier than a revealing shirt. They show off all the breasts, without the sluttiness! It's great! The g/f was appalled. You mean men are still captivated by the boobies? Yes, yes we are. There is no escape.

But, in exchange, you can stare at my crotch all you want. It's ok. I'm willing to make that saccrifice. She didn't think it was fair.

The more I think about this the more interesting the topic becomes though. Girls realize that men can't keep their eyes off of their breasts if they are in the lest bit exposed, so why would they keep wearing shirts that reveal so much...then bitch about it? My theory is that it's an attention getting device, like complaining about being in your 30s. Being in your thirties is, for some, like finding out you have terminal cancer. You're THAT much closer to doom.

I, for one, revel in the fact that I'm growing older. I'm happy that some day I'll be able to pull off the Sean Connery look and/or sit on the porch of my house reading a thick book and smoking a pipe. I just wish there was something I could do for the ladies, in exchange for not being able to control my eyes. For example, if I knew for certain that girls looked at my crotch, then I'd totally start jamming socks, baseballs, and small cars down my pants. I think that's akin to a push-up bra, right?

Hey, I'm just trying to give back what I take. That's only fair.

Discuss.

--GIVINGBACKISWHATIDO--

I think I owe you guys an apology for yesterday. I think I was rather harsh and I blatantly ripped off comedian Dane Cook. For all of this, and more, I apologize.

I'm not really that interesting today. I haven't really done anything yet. If anything happens, I'll update again.


--THANKYOUFORYOURPATIENCE--

So how ya'll doin? Absinthe Wednesday treatin' ya well? Haha! I don't care!

This is how things are gonna go down. I'm gonna take you out, we'll get hammered, make sweet sweety bloggy love and it'll be good. Then, for no reason whatsoever, I'm not gonna call anymore. Then, through the grapevine, you'll hear that I'm dating a much younger, sexier blogosphere. About a year later I'll call you in the middle of the night, drunk and sobbing, saying that you were the best blogosphere ever. Then we'll grab some paraphenalia, hit the town, start some fires, turn over some cars and break shit. You'll turn to me and say, "Iffy, you're a fuckin' riot!" I'll raise my eyebrows and say, "No, YOU'RE a fuckin' riot!"

I need a gang. I had a crew, once, but that crew disbersed. I needed to upgrade anyway. So I need a gang. Wanna be part of my gang?

I don't know anything about New Wave Theatre in Richmond, Virginia and how it was created to dispell common myths about contraception and IV drug use. Maybe it's research time.

There are a few things I wish to clear up here. First, my blog is not the right place to judge others. Only I can do that, here. Second, only use a #2 pencil when writing comments. If you do not, your comment cannot be viewed by those less fortunate, and this blog is for everybody. Third, do not think that because you read my blog I care about you. I am a severely insensitive person with no thought in my head for your feelings and not so benign attachement issues so the more you read my blog the less I care.

I am determined to become a shadowy, less articulate gangster version of myself. I am on the right track to becoming the stunning conclusion of me, but dude, this is taking forever!

I really want to write a movie script but I lack the drive, the will and the skillz. You need all three. I'm f'd right out of the starting gate.

Starting tomorrow I will have the national and local editions of my blog. Look for the new IFFY AT BEST blog, localized, specialized and totally irrelivent to you in revolutionary new ways. I AM cutting edge.

I really feel under-appreciated. Not really for what I do, but for what I have to offer. Bava and I were talking about this today. He wants to become some kind of general information gathering specialist. GIGS. I think I want to do the same kind of thing but really just have it be about culture in general. But I'm a total spaz so I doubt I'l muster the fortitude to pull it off.

Tonight I'm heading down to play some darts and attend a dinner where I'll drink for f'n free. That's right. I said free. Wanna know how you can get invited to this little shindig? It ain't gonna happen. I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't really want you there anyway. You're funny, but I'm just not in the mood.


--ASPOONFULLOFCOCAIN--

Someone called me yesterday and mentioned something that seemed very important at the time. I hope it was only important then because I can't remember what the hell we talked about.

So the last couple days have been...meh. Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was a tad busy. Won't happen again.

I've got a question for you. How many of you wonder where people who do porn come from? I'm not talking about porn stars per se, those people were pretty much born into the business. I'm talking about the third or fourth tier people in porn, the ones who have their own galleries online and a web cam. Who did they go to high school with? Have you ever googled someone and had their 'ALL NUDE ALL DAY ALL NIGHT!' gallery come up? I haven't. But I figure it's just a matter of time.

I saw Hotel Rwanda last night. It kinda f'd me up. I really didn't know how to deal with all the imagery and the killing. It's very realistic and Don Cheadle does a GREAT job.

I'm having a danish for breakfast. Are you Danish?

So yeah, if you wanna know more about drug trafficking, check here.

She doesn't smoke cigarettes. Do you?! You do? oh...Can I bum one?

considering that it's Mircat Wednesday, here's a Mircat.

Remember to say, "HELL NO!" to drugs, boys and girls.

Be extremely thankful you're not in this band.

Now, have a FANTASTIC Wednesday, and I'll chat you up later.

--IDONOTKNOWHOWTOFIXACARENGINE--

What a great morning to be human, eh?

This weekend I most definately did not get my weekend on. Trust me. I was in Cannaaannananaada. Victoria to be exact. It's a beautiful city, I know that, but when you're there on business and not pleasure, it takes on this sheen of enui that permeates the very meat on one's bones. Trust me.

So on Saturday morning I woke up at 5am and went out to the Park-n-Ride by The Place. A small group of us carpooled up to Port Angeles, then took the ferry across to Victoria. We were put up in a hotel by Rotary so we walked to the hotel and checked in to our rooms. I really didn't have anything to put in the room so I just went back down to the lobby to wait for everyone else.

I pulled my biography of Chairman Mao out of my bag and started to read. Have you ever been trying to read in a room where someone is talking about something funny and/or interesting and though you're not supposed to pay attention, you just can't help it? That's what happened to me.

A canadian couple on the other couch in the lobby were talking about dancing. They were using a vocabulary I didn't really understand but the hotel manager definately did. From across the room he yelled, "You guys polka, eh?" The couple said why, yes, they did, and there was a flurry of conversation. Apparently there was a massive polka dance in Victoria last weekend and during the conversation I was trying not to listen to, I learned that American polka is slightly different than Canadian polka. Don't know the how or why, but it is.

When that flurry of converstaion was over, the couple started to truly examine the flowers on the coffee table between me and them. Out of the corner of my eye I kept seeing that both members of the couple kept looking up at me in a really friendly way. I couldn't tell what the hell was going on so I raised my book as kind of a 'fuck off' gesture. The couple kept talking about the flower. Was it fake? Was it real? If it was real, it sure felt fake. But if it was fake, boy did it look real! The poor flower had dry bits falling off of it. The couple talked about it as if it was a matter of national importance, but they never actually argued.

Finally, it was decided that it was real and it needed water, for it had none at all. They hailed the manager and had him call a maid down from upstairs to, "water the poor plant, eh!"

That was Saturday.

On Sunday I noticed something interesting that I pointed out to our Canadian friends (or, as I like to call them, 'Those who now despise my very existence'). In the middle of one of THEIR stories they'll give you a fact such as, "The car was red!" but then, they'll add "right?" at the end so it sounds like:

"The car was red, right?"

The only response I could come up with was, "I don't fucking know! It's YOUR story!

They didn't like that I pointed that out.

I talked way too much this weekend.

But now I'm back. In town and in shape. I need to play pool though. My life lacked too much pool this weekend.

I'll post more later when I'm feeling cantankerous.

--PAINFULOMENSAREOMINOUS--