Iffy at best

Well, my friend Keri was telling me that she was searching up dirt on old friends from high school on Myspace.com. "what an interesting idea!" I thought. Well, I signed up and, just to be fair, I signed up so people could search for me as well. I'm not sure how I feel about allowing people I used to know just kinda look at my profile without me knowing about it. Who knew I was so insecure?!

I've now fallen in love with google maps. If they have a satelite photo of where you live, you can zoom waaayyy in and see the top of your house, thusly proving them completely inept. Unfortunately I can't do this. My house doesn't have close up satelite photos. Suck. For those of you who care, this is where I work:



Well, I'm out of coffee so I gotta go get some.

--IKEEPFORGETTINGTOWATERTHEPLANT--

What are the chances that there's another web comic artist, at least as crappy as me, with the name Theo?!

I didn't think there was any.

--IWASSOF'NWRONG--

Well, it looks as though Ahniwa has left this world behind. And by 'this world' I mean the internet one. He could have given us more warning...you know, a month goes by with no post and then suddenly his blog dissappears. But hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Me? I keep on truckin'. Just hit 1k visitors and I'm aimin' for the stars baby.

I updated my webcomic. And the site. The site sucks like Mike Tyson at a milkshake stand but be confident that I'm working to improve the situation mightily.

--DON'TBUGMEI'MWRITING--

So that frog video yesterday was awesome. If you didn't see it, go down one post and check it out.

Here's today's video.

So yeah, as of today I'm still on schedule with my comic.

There's a new(ish) radio station in town called KEXP. It's fun and so I listen to it at work. While I'm getting stuff 'done'.

So last night I went swing dancing. I guess there was more to my story than I previously remembered. The swing leader lady apparently made a deal with me where if I helped out in her lesson then I would dance for free. I forgot/wasn't listening, but the upshot was that I danced the night away. And STILL had time to post a new comic. Amazing.

I've been thinking about it and there really isn't anything new to report. If I come up with anything, I'll post again.

--THEMANINTHEMOONISNOTHINGMORETHANAFIGMENTOFYOURIMAGINATION--

There are so many different kinds of hangovers. I, fortunately, don't have any of them. I am tired however.

Yesterday I played darts from about 4pm until just about 9:10pm. It was great. I haven't done a marathon darts stint in a while and it felt really good. The greatest part about it is that I'm not even sore. I'm gonna try and play some darts tonight.

Last week the 'swing lady' told me that I really should start setting a good example and pay for the dances. The problem with this is that I only stay for about 45 mins and I hardly dance with anyone anymore so it's not as if I'm benefitting from going to the dance. I think she may have just started the beginning of the end of my swing dancing in Oly. It's sad tho because I do love it, I just don't want to have to pay $5 to spend 45 mins dancing. I'd rather spend $5 in the bar playing darts. At least I'll get better at darts.

Ok, for any of you (tim) who know about that damn frog ring tone that gets stuck in your head, the one I've been mimicking for at least two months now, THIS will really make you laugh.

--THECOFFEEINTHISPLACEISREALLYF'NBAD--

P.S. My phone got turned off because I can't pay my bill. It'll be back on on the 31st. Thanks for your patience

--Management

I can't believe I found this. When I was in France I had no idea who John Lowe was. Now I do. Thank goodness.

This weekend was long, boring and full of termites. I think we're gonna have to condemn the place.

My Henry Atomic Ranger comic is going slowly because I can't seem to get a format down for drawing the damn thing. I'm gonna start looking at tutorials here pretty soon. Probly gonna go down to vita and grab the tutorials and then create a cd. Pull a Tim.

I'm kinda swamped here at work so I gotta go. Have a great day and I'll try to post again later!


--GETAFREESMOOTHIETODAYONLY--

So last night was pretty intense. I played darts after work for an hour, then Ahniwa came home and we played darts together for another hour. Then our friends came over and we all played darts. Once Tim arrived we started playing cards. Across town, the girlfriends were having girls night.

It started innocently enough, with a picture. Of course, having that picture taken on a cell phone and having it be of bare breasts with wine bottles over the nipples didn't help. And this from a bunch of swing dancers. Who knew.

Well, the guys weren't gonna let this fly. We bared our asses for a picture and things just started going downhill until we finally got a picture of someone's actual ass. That was when that part of the game ended. Ahniwa lost on purpose and then Adrian followed suit...no pun intended.

At that point I was drunk beyond all reason. Something had to change. We moved the dinning room table out into the garage so we could smoke cigars and play cards at the same time. About that time two of the girls drop of my girlfriend who was drunk out of her mind too. I put her to bed and then went back downstairs to finish the game.

Adam went and got some Guiness so we finished off the night loaded up on Guiness, smoking cigars and playing decent cards.

I had a great night.

And right now I'm sitting at my desk at work wishing I was anywhere else.

Even though I'm not even able to update my one web comic regularly I think I've decided that I'm going to do Iffy@Best M/W/F and then re-start my Henry the Atomic Ranger web comic on the weekend.

We'll see how that goes.

Anyway, I hope you're all having a blast this gorgeous day! Write a comment if you want. I don't bite. Really. I can't. Hormone deficiency they told me.

--ANAPPLEADAYKEEPSTHEPEDIATRISTATBAY--

My jiggly bits have finally stopped jiggling. It is a good day.


We had a thunderstorm this afternoon and it was great fun to listen to. But having to work late today kinda sucks. I have to call everyone who has hosted with our program within the last two years. The monster under my bed has started drooling.

I really need to update my comic. I'm sorry I've been such...a...slacker about that. Oh well.

And I really haven't had enough coffee today. I started the day out with a HUGE cup of it and then just kinda dropped the ball. THAT was a stupid move on my part. I seriously should have given myself a boost at 2 or 3 or even as early as lunch, because now I'm all kinds of jonesn'.

There really isn't that much to report. The thunderstorms went away and left us with a bright sunny day and the plant on my desk seems to adore pepsicola products. Specifically the Dew of the Mountain. Which makes sense.

I've been a fan of web based comics for years now. My list of comic links to the side of this page is a very refined list and they are the ones I read every day. Sometimes I even have the guts to go back and start at the beginning of their blissfully long archives just to re-find the funny.

Now there is this man, one Scott McCloud, who really thinks he's hot shit when it comes to web comics. Not that he himself has really ever done anything that I would consider linking to. He just kinda said he was God and everyone just went along with it. Every so often you'll hear his name mentioned (and by mentioned I mean DROPPED LIKE A LEAD BALLOON) on someone's blog or at a convention or something and he's published a little.

After trying to produce my own web comic I think this is exactly how I feel about Mr. McClouds ideas and propaganda. Read it and love it. God bless you Gabe and Tycho.

Now, if only I could actually keep up with my own comic, that'd be great!

Procrastination rules.

--GIVETHEDUDEHISBONGBACK--

Hey, everyone has photos out there somewhere that are embarassing. Usually we don't post them on our own blog though.

Arianna Huffington, gubenatorial candidate and infamous bitch, has photos that would make Shwartzennnegarger blush.

Michael Moore gets some lovin'.

Arianna the swinger! With reverend sharpton no less...

and who's happier to be let out in public? I can't tell.

now, normally I don't wax politic on this blog. I've got a different one for that. But I just couldn't help myself.

For a while now I've heard nothing but complaints about the 'blogosphere' being innundated by right wing fanatics and hypocritical bullies. Well, now there can't be any more complaining. Arianna has taken care of all of that by combining EVERY SINGLE celebrity pundit in one place and forcing them to write for her. And, of course, they're famous so what they say is gospel. I really hate famous people who think they can think.


More in a bit.


--MYDONUTGOOGLEDYOURMOTHER--

Someone did a search for "best indian ass" on Yahooooozle! and my blog came up. Damn I'm hot. But what's better is that yahoo said,

"Did you mean: Best Indiana's?" What? No! I meant BEST INDIAN ASS DAMMIT!

What's even wierder than that is that whoever searched for this subject matter actually clicked on my blog. It's a blog. There is nothing remotely 'assish' or 'indian' about it. Except now I've used the words several times so I'm sure my blog will come up in the top 10 if you search for it now. Oh man.

Double Entendre

So I made breakfast this morning, didn't get to finish it, and ended up taking it to work. Hash browns, baked beans, eggs and pancakes don't look so appetizing when all mixed together in some tupperware.

So today is the anniversary of the eruption of Mt. St. Helen's here in WAAAA. It happend the year I was born, but about three months afterward. This blog is a tool that I must use for goods and not evils so I will provide you with a memorial look at exploding things:

THIS is an incomprehensibly large picture of Helens. GO MONKEY GO!

A much smaller picture is located here.

And here's a complimentary picture of Wanda Young.

Cause I'm a Fujiyama Mama and I'm just about to blow my top
And when I start erupting ain't nobody gonna make me stop.
--Fujiyama Mama, Wanda Jackson (1957)

yeah baby.

and here is just some random image. Damn.

This morning is shaping up to be not much fun at all. But I'm sure I'll deal. I've got lists to make and stuff to do so I'm a gonna take my leave now. Y'all take care now.

--MYGOOGLEISBETTERTHANYOURGOOGLE--


More--

So everysooften I google my name. I have never come up with anything interesting. Until today.

Apparently I make exclusive eyewear.

I do leadership training.

I'm an unemployed superhero.

I'm also a female rockstar. Who knew?!

Theo Kogan, singer of the legendary NYC all-girl punk band Lunachicks, has recreated herself as a solo artist and is ready to share her new songs with the world. Theo’s new music is just as powerful as ever, but now it’s bolstered with flavors of new wave, metal, and catchy pop. During her time with Lunachicks, Theo lived the full-on rock ‘n’ roll dream — playing sold-out shows around the globe and touring with bands like Marilyn Manson, No Doubt, The Offspring, Rancid, and NOFX.

I'm a danish artist.

I'm a saxaphone composer.

YOU can become a memeber of CLUB THEO right now! Include your mailing address and you get a certificate!

And, my favorite, I'm the star of a PBS show:

Theo is proud, expansive, and regal in demeanor, if just a bit scruffy in appearance, and he has a deep, masterful voice perfect for storytelling or settling disputes between literary characters. Theo has a zestful—indeed, ravenous—love for books, both the "wholes" (stories, biographies, plays, periodicals, poems, ballads), and the "parts" (individual words, letters, phonemes, characters, illustrations, punctuation marks—even page numbers).

I find it amusing that my blog pops up nowhere on the list.

--ANDTHEREYOUHAVEIT--

And there's even more:

A google image search came up with some fun stuff.

yay!

--SUNNYDAYSWEEPINTHECLOUDSAWAY--

Have you ever had days like this?


So last night was the g/f's sister's birthday. They were gonna get a tatoo that I drew up for 'em but the place was closing so they couldn't get it. Now they're saving it for wednesday. yay!

Now my phone is shut off. THAT sucks. I have to wait until a)payday (may 30th) or b)the Tumblebus guy pays me (whenever). I have no idea how I'm gonna survive for two weeks on $16.

but hey, I've made it up to now, right?!

I've been practicing darts like a madman lately. And that's a good thing. Hopefully we'll be able to kick ass in leagues.

That's about all I got for now. Maybe I'll post more later.

--LOOKATTHEGAZOONGASONTHATONE--

There are too few absolutely random things in life.

My life seems to be a carnival of somewhat limp spaghetti.

I'm in the mood to play darts all the time. As some of you remember, I started playing darts in France and when I came home I installed a dart board in our garage. I kinda stopped playing during the winter because it was too cold, etc. But now it's nice and warm and I'm spending a good 2 hours a day practicing. I played a game last night where I had to hit each number three times in the big part of the colored area. That sucked. I could get two all the time but getting all three...ouch. And I think the g/f is pissed at me right now for ignoring her. But really, who could blame her.

*sigh*

Laundry takes up waaayyy too much time. I'd give up on doing it but it seems that revolution and bad hygene would follow quickly. I just can't seem to win with this one.

Oh, and why am I suddenly the resident techie? Oh yeah, my old boss is a flaming bitch! My office doesn't call the IT department anymore. They call me. I Do know the system and I understand their computers better than they do, but that really doesn't make me much more proficient at fixing them.

Star Wars Ep. III opens on Thurs. night. I still can't decide if I really want to see it. I never saw all of Ep. II. I saw yoda, and that was enough for me. The rest of it truly didn't matter to me. So maybe I should watch Ep. II and THEN go see Ep. III...but really I think that would be waaaayyyy too much Lucas-vision for one person to handle. Honestly, I think all this marketing is sick. It's sick for ANY product, let alone a movie about good vs. evil. LOTR was a million times the movie Eps I, II and III are and it didn't have HALF the promotions going on. Ok, so maybe half, but it wasn't quite so in your face. Skywalker Ranch hosting MTV's TRL was the highlight of my weekend, I don't know about you.

Oh, and if I was on American Idol at all, I would have slept with Paula Abdoool as well. I'm just sayin'.

--IWASTOLDTOTELLYOUYOU'REFIRED--

I really want my blog to look like this:




At least I think I do...

But I can't build it. I'm in the process of photoshopping images for the thing and a new logo.

If you can help, let me know. THANK!!

--MANAGEMENTLOVESYOU--

If you use titles for you blog postings that are also things that people search for on google, yahoo, or altavista, then your blog gets more hits. Just fyi. And here are some of my favorite searches that have led to people visiting my site:

korean canibals

born-2-rofl

"oh what tangled webs we weave"

things that star with the letter x

"the monsters under my bed"

what is narcisim?

And the one I don't understand:

"hilary health" congressional v



So this morning has been incredibly slow.

I woke up this morning starving to death and really hoping that I would be able to find a reason to stay awake at work. I found nothing but a moldy bagel in my trash can. The maintenance people at the school are busy working down in the dorms and they have not the time to trifle with the trash cans for us here on the fourth floor. One of these days I'll post of picture of this red brick monstrocity I happen to work in. It's quite intense. But anyway, yeah. Moldy bagel.

This afternoon, for lunch, we're taking one of our graduate students out for lunch to Mehfils, and Indian restaurant. It's a very good restaurant. It's no Pacos Tacos, but hey, what is?

--SMILEWHENIMTALKINGTOYOU--

Today is booRRing! But it shouldn't be. I really need to call local schools and get information on when we can visit their foreign language classes and present our student ambassador plan. But I hate phones. And I hate high schools. Lovely combo.

Last night I went to the bar and had a pretty good conversation with a friend of mine about politics. Then a band played. I saw some of my friends dancing. I drank too much. Now I'm paying for it. Lovely day.

My mind reels in the fish.

you know, honestly, if I was elected to public office, I would totally abuse that power. I would get rid of all known enemies, I'd find new ones, eliminate them, then I'd totally get involved in some kind of really kinky sex scandal. Then I'd take all of my money, leave for Colorado, and live my life on the edge of a calm and peaceful lake, contemplating how to get those really stickey boogers out of my nose without ripping out all the hair.

But that's for a different blog.


--MISNOMERSMAKEGREATGNOMES--

So yeah, I've decided I'm a cowboy...in the presidential sense.

I'm now playing darts with most of my free time. What a sure fire way to put undue stress on a relationship! sheesh! But good LORD what fun!

Things not to do:

Piss into the wind (or on an electric fence)
Mine for gold in California (where do you think ghost towns come from?)
Join a support group for taxidermists (unless you are one. Those people be freaky!)
Do a mime show of being shot by the cops...in front of the cops.
Talk about religion in a derogatory way in front of your religious girlfriend's religious family.

Which one am I guilty of? All of 'em, but most recently the last.

ON MOTHER'S DAY no less, do I start on an ill timed rant about the out-datedness of the bible and other such oft-quoted documents. Man, talk about stirrin' up shit! Luckily I quit just in time to only get an evil stare and have the g/f's sister's boyfriend change the subject. My face got red and I couldn't continue the game of Guessgures. Silly me.

Another day, another amadillo.

--SPINSTERSONTHEMENDMAKEMESICK--

So there is a matter that must be discussed, but not here. It is a secret matter.

I bought a Wacom tablet over the weekend. I finally finished the Tumblebus project with it and then went back and retouched a bunch of the graphics I've already done. I don't know about the guy I'm doing it all for, but I'm really happy with how it turned out.

I updated my web comic. I'll start trying to do that every monday, wed, fri. We'll see what happens.

I'll post more later.

--MANAGEMENTTHINKSYOURPRODUCTIVITYISTOOHIGH--

So there's new stuff all up in this joint.

Have I ranted about how much I hate html? Coding in general. Coding gave my ADD herpes.

Granted, I've never given the actual code for my page more than a cursory glance, but it still took me like an hour trying to figure out how to insert that f'n banner. There is no excuse.

So now I'm at work, making a cool flyer that will go up around the community this morning at some point soon. Like this afternoon. Hopefully.

I have just under 20 host families and my goal for the end of May is 30. Hopefully that can happen. Hopefully I get more than that. We'll see.

So far I've been running around making flyers, making phone calls and now I have to take off and drop the flyers around town. yay!

More later. Maybe.

--SOPORIFICDELIVERY--