Iffy at best

I'm a fan of monogonomy. Always have been, always will be. Except, if you're not in a relationship, why not move to Cananananaaada for a while?!

--MELOVEYOUANDALLYOURFRIENDSLONGTIME--

Yeah, you think I'm a spaz, don't you? Yes, I knew you did.

Sorry 'bout the last coupla posts. They haven't really been up to snuff. From here on out I promise nothing.

I'm sitting at work but I can't for the life of me figure out why. I have vacation time I could use and it'd probly be better if I did. I'm getting paid to sit around and do absolutely nothing.

"There must be something you could be doing!" you say.

No, there isn't. I've finished all my pre-spring semester work and if I start anything else without it being approved by the boss-lady, I'll end up re-doing anyway.

So there you have it.

Why do I love Christmas? A couple of reasons. The first one is that people are mean this time of year. You want to flick off that shitty driver next to you? Do it! Everyone else is.

Washington gets an obscene amount of rain. I'm not saying that our total rainfall level is comparable to that of the Amazon, Ibut I am saying that we can go for MONTHS without seeing blue sky. And yet Washingtonians cannot drive in the rain. WTF?!

We can't drive in the sun either. And LORD knows we can't drive in the snow. Fog? Fuhgetaboutit! We can handle a slightly cloudy day, and even then it gets dicey if we're going faster than 10 mph.

So I'm driving to work this morning and not only is there rain coming from EVERY direction, but ALL of the big shipping trucks have decided to haul their cargo at the same time. Have you ever driven your car into the neighbors pool that you previously filled with live alligators? You have? Well then, it was like that.

So this ass-hat decides that he's gonna be a flippin genius and instead of slowing down to get into the exit lane behind me, he tries to speed up on my left, tailgate a oversized load and then cut me off.

I am the first to admit that I suffer from road rage. But I'm able to control it so that it comes out as me simply yelling at the people. I never use hand jestures. And if they look over at me I usually stop yelling and cow my head. But this time I just couldn't hack it anymore. I actually flipped this guy off, over the dashboard.

I don't think he saw me because I'm sure he had a gun and would've shot to kill. Either that or this is a regular thing for him and he just felt that it was the response he's supposed to get upon merging.

In any case, that was definately a first for me. So yeah, enjoy the holidays.

--PLEASETALKMOREQUIETLY--

I got my cup o' noodles. And it was good.

Other than that there is nothing to report. I've started yawning uncontrolably and I think that means I'm tired and it's time to go home.

I'v got another 45 mins, then I can take off.

I've taken down all the pictures. It's funny how you never really think about all the little things you'll have take down. And then, what do you do with them? Do you save them? Do you throw them away? Do you stuff them under the bed? Do you burn them? I don't know the procedure. No one briefed me. Not to be too melodramatic, but I think that this is something I have to figure out for myself.

And you thought I was speaking in metaphors! haha!

It's another grey Washington day and I'm soooo ready to sit on my couch and veg. I kinda want a beer but honestly, after this weekend I don't know if that's such a good idea. I probly won't. I've got comics to draw.

--IPLAYWITHMACROME--

I took last week off. I just did. It was a mental health thing. I needed to clear my mind and get re-focused. It worked. I'm now back to training to be a rock star.

Had a decent weekend. Played pool, got drunk, sobered up, hung out, drew a comic, and got drunk again. Think I'm done gettin' drunk for a while. When it stops being fun and becomes a burden, it's time to stop.

I want some soup. I wish I had soup. Maybe I can steal one of the cup o' noodles from the supply closet.

CUP O NOODLES!

--DONCHUWISHYERGIRLFRIENDWASHOTLIKEME?--

I was lying in bed this morning, trying not to wake up, and I realized something: Many things happen in the world that I just don't care about.

Now, I'm not saying that what happens to me personally is more important than the assassination of an anti-syrian journalist in Lebenon, but seriously, I don't care.

Actually, let me ammend that. I do care. But I care differently than I used to. I have lost much interest because people refuse to learn the right lessons from this type of thing. Not only does it upset me, but I feel the urge to stop paying attention altogether.

I won't, but I just needed to threaten you a bit.

--TAKEADAYOFFJUSTFORYOU--

I'm tired. So incredibly tired. But I can't sleep. I'm a restless big ball of spaz.

Hot Dogs! I wanna hot dog.

And an ice cold Coca-Cola Classic!

This is an interesting week, dear readers. An interesting week indeed.

But you don't get to know what happened! 'cause why? 'cause it's my life you greedy schmuck!

I last two days without a cigarette. Then I go a couple days only smoking in the evening and keep it down to two or three. I am on my way to quitting. Last night and the night before, I not only fall off the wagon, I jump as the wagon careans down a cliff. On Fire. And 'splodin'.

BUT, I am actually AT the Eastside last night when the smoking ban goes into effect. The bartender is making a sad announcement and at 11:50pm, EVERYONE lights a cig. At midnight they all go out and he comes around and collects the ash trays. Everyone leaves. It is sad. But good.

The law is ridiculous here in Olympia though. You must be 25 feet from a building entrance or window if you're gonna be "doing that". Well, if you've ever been to Olympia, you move 25 feet away from ANYTHING and you're inside another building. How they're gonna make this work, I don't know. But I do plan on quitting. Soon. Now that I can't smoke in the bars it'll be easy, right w0nderyak? (dude lives in LA)

Anyway, that's about all I gots. I hope I get enough sleep tonight. I need it bad. Of course there's the office Christmas party tonight (we're a catholic school so I'm allowed to call it a 'Christmas party', as opposed to a 'Holiday party'.

I gotta head off. Take care of yourselves and remember to give up that nasty habit!

--GODDAMMITJIMICAN'TTAKEMUCHMOREOFTHIS--

I'm slowly losing faith in all those things that people hold most deer.

This is not a true story.

I got an email inviting me to participate in the only Civil War re-enactment society that exists in Washington State. Since 0 minus 0 is 0, none of the battles were fought in Washington so what is there to re-enact? The whole damn thing. You see, these people spend a month each year re-enacting the ENTIRE Civil War. So I emailed the guy back and told him that I wasn't interested but I work at a SMALL university that may have students interested. I mentioned that I specifically work with international students, thinking that maybe the idea of a Chinese student showing up would dissuade this gentleman from propositioning me any longer.

It had the opposite affect.

The next email I recieved from Charlieswarreenactmentsocietyofwashingtonstate@Hotmail.com was a crazy (and by crazy I mean incomprehensible) string of garbage that mixed racially motivated bigotry with the stunning confession that he had been tortured by the Chinese special forces during an undercover mission to rescue a buddy of his right after Vietnam that went awry.

Needless to say he wanted nothing to do with our Chinese students. He did however suggest that we get a bunch of our Hawaiian students together because though Hawaii is one of our newest aquisitions (his word), they deserve a chance to participate in the re-enactment of this land's great history.

I wanted to needle this crazy bastard, so I sent him an email asking about the Japanese exchange students. They are studying American history right now and since they've covered the Civil War I suggested that they come and watch. Less than five minutes later I got an email about how the Japanese are in league with the Jews and the Italians to uncover the massive oil reserves in the arctic, thusly trying to control the world's next great oil supply.

How the hell does one respond to this? I didn't know so I just didn't email him back. There's no way that one can associate with an individual as crazy as that. No way.

On a completely unrelated note: My friend Adam told me that there was this guy who had his face ripped off by a crazy chimp while celebrating the birthday of a chimp he used to own. Adam doesn't lie.

On to today's theme! It's Do Not Wait to Enjoy the Benefits of this Offer Thursday! DNWTETBOTOT!

Seriously, if my doctor looked ANYTHING like this I would never go to the doctor again.

Ever been to Worcester? I haven't but really, with the advent and proliferation of the intarwebs, who needs to travel anymore?! Here, I'll be your tourguide. Here's downtown. Love it. Here's the cathedral. Not sure if it's in MA, but still, it's the cathedral. This picture says, "TODAY" but I don't think it is. I think it was last week. Or even last year. Dont' even ask. Ok. Tour's over.

Who couldn't use hedgehog supported gopher repellant?!

I want this guy to sell ME a house!

I'm now going to wish you a happy DNWTETBOTOT! TTYL!

--LOVEYALOTSTOOTSBUTIGOTSHITTOBLOWUP--

I'm not really certain how to begin this post.

What's really been on my mind is something I can't really post on this blog because I'm not sure who reads it. Mainly it's a about w0rk and since I have no desire to be Dooced, I'm just gonna avoid it.

On to other things.

I slipped. I fell, like a bottle of water, off the wagon. I had not one, not two, but 8 cigarettes last night. I was so pissed off when i left work yesterday that I stopped at the gas station, bought myself a pack of Camel Lights, went down to the Eastside and shot pool for like an hour. Then I went dancing but my heart wasn't in it. This morning I'm feeling like shit though. My lungs hurt, my brain hurts and I can barely see.

'Course that last one could be the glaucoma.

I usually try to compose my rants on the way to work, and I composed a beautiful one for today but have since forgotten it. It's really too bad.

It's supposed to snow again today. Like 4 inches. It hasn't happened yet, but then it's only 9:20am and the snow advisory doesn't go into effect until 10am. 40 mins and I'm on pins and needles. I WANNA SNOW DAY!

I can't really think of anything else to post right now. Theme of the day when I feel like it.

--USHERINGINANEWERA--