Iffy at best

No warning

2006-05-17T12:10:00.000-07:00

Wookah!

2006-04-18T15:59:00.000-07:00

I have a new blog.

WWW.IFFYATBEST.NET

Enjoy the fizziness.

--MYPEEPSHAVEFACES--

shim-sham

2006-04-11T13:50:00.000-07:00

They came asking for a power drill. What're ya gonna do?

Http://www.iffyatbest.net

Give it a Little More Ooomph!

2006-03-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

The sketch for today is here.

Blogger is still being a bitch.

My excuse for being MIA is that work has taken over seven eighths of my life. The last eighth is the comic. I am really starting to hate my job.

--JOINTODAYANDSAVE--

Whistling in the Dark

2006-03-21T11:44:00.000-08:00

Here's Tuesday's sketch!

--GIVEADOGABONE--

Intarwubs, you be my bitch!

2006-03-17T00:01:00.000-08:00

God bless Sinfest.

--IT'SBETTERINTHEBAHAMAS--

All-Purpose For Home and Office

2006-03-15T21:57:00.000-08:00

If you don't pay attention in class you will be forcefully removed by one of these cute little guys. They may be soft, but they will kick your ASS.

--DONOTMESSWITHTHEBIRDS--

This is an example

2006-03-02T23:58:00.000-08:00

This is the perfect example of why you should never stop sketching a character once you've created them and have committed to including them in your art. Oi.

Anyway, hope you're enjoying this sketch dump!

--ICAN'TSEEMTOTEARMYSELFAWAYFROMTHESCREEN!--

Warning: Warning Ahead

2006-03-02T23:39:00.000-08:00

Believe me, it's worse if you do it.

--LISTENTOTHEWAITER--

Whirrrr....

2006-03-02T21:51:00.000-08:00

Eagerer Than a Beaver

2006-03-02T21:35:00.000-08:00

I'm on a roll tonight, lemme tell ya. The best is yet to come.

--TAKETHEPLUNGE,BABY!--

There's More, but You're Not Allowed To See It...

2006-03-02T20:52:00.000-08:00

Teach a man to fish and he'll start a monkey farm.

Teach a man to play jazz, he'll turn into this guy.

Teach some punk kid how to draw...and we're all fucked.

--IWOULDBEREMISSEDNOTTOMENTIONMYINFLUENCES--

Friday, Doode!

2006-02-24T20:08:00.000-08:00

There was an issue. It has been resolved. This bear represents how I felt about the situation. Now I don't feel like this bear. But the bear is on a rampage. I sure hope you brought your animal tranquilizers!

--DON'TSHOOTBEARSTHATWEARPANTS--

Maximumium

2006-02-21T21:10:00.000-08:00

I've been trying to mimic different techniques for drawing to see if I can loosen up the style of La Casa a bit. I'm not getting tired of what's happening there, far from it, but I'm always looking to be innovative and move the comic to the next level...wherever that may be.

Lemme know what you think.

--BEWAREOFTHEGROOVE!--

Oh the Frivolity!

2006-02-17T17:42:00.000-08:00

FRIDAY!!! FUCKIN RAWK!!!

--HEROSEVERYWHEREUNITE--

Lemme Know if You're Curious

2006-02-16T23:00:00.000-08:00

I once did a la casa strip about me as a casket salesman. This is me explaining in great detail about the groovitood scale. Listen closely. It's rather complex for someone who relies so much on stylized pictures to communicate.

--GIGGLEQUIETLYANDSAYCHEESE--

Sick Day

2006-02-14T16:07:00.000-08:00

What a day. Got so sick at work that I came home. I'm spending the afternoon running from my desk to the bathroom. Haven't really eaten much. Ugh.

--WISHMELUCK

2006-02-14T14:01:00.000-08:00

do not oggle the merchandise. Please.

Misery Loves A Listener

2006-02-14T12:03:00.000-08:00

What a Valentine's Day. I feel horrible. My stomach has been hurting all morning long so I wasted money on breakfast, coffee and lunch. Spent about 10 mins after a meeting this morning in the bathroom. I wish I was at home.

Today's comic turned out better than I expected.

Not much going on today. I'm really not motivated to post. I'll try again later.

--PLEASERETURNTOYOUROFFICE--

Price Includes Sales Tax

2006-02-13T09:34:00.000-08:00

Sorry about the lack of sketches this last weekend. I was working really hard on the comic.

Last week I made the decision to do the strip in color. I'm not sure what posessed me to do this, but so far it has made my personal investment in the strip that much greater. I'm teaching myself new techniques for doing just about every part of the comic and really enjoying the innovative lifestyle.

Today's comic went through a few different color itterations. The first one had (apparently) very strange colors for the background but I caught them in time. Then Tim's hat came out tan instead of the green it was supposed to be. But the green didn't work so I had to go with this color. Still not sure I'm happy with it.

I also really want to draw in an "I (don't) heart pants" t-shirt on myself. Ahniwa has his cool bowling shirt and Tim has his dress shirt with the rolled up sleaves. I want a cool shirt for my character!

So yeah, as if I didn't have enough to do, I started a daily comic. It has really bad art, a shitty web page and the only thing good I can say about it is that it's completely auto-biographical. It took a total of half an hour to put the web page together and draw Monday through Friday's strips. I have 31 pre-made scripts for it and at least a dozen more on the way. Should be a kick. Enjoy. I think I'm going to start doing comic making commentary on that page.

Oh the horror of Monday. I've already had too much coffee, my bosses are looking at me like I'm a failure and all I wanna do is walk away from this and draw my little heart out. Anyone willing to sponsor La Casa comics? Please? All I need is 25k a year. That's it!

Enough begging.

Alright, I've got a messy project to work on and a thus far untarnished reputation to ruin. Hope y'all have a good day!

--MADEFROM100%POSTCONSUMERRECYCLEDFIBER--

A Soothing Blend of Me

2006-02-10T09:34:00.000-08:00

In the comic, on Tuesdays and Thursdays, I enumerate the processes I use for creating these masterpieces. Well, on my blog here I'm going to start talking about the process I used for each individual comic. For most of you, this probably won't matter or make much sense, but I've noticed that my art, style and processes have changed drastically over the last four months and I want a way to document these changes.

Today's strip is a new milestone in the La Casa universe. It is the first color strip and I am going to try and do the strips in color from now on. This wouldn't be a problem except for what I talked about yesterday.

Here is the process I use for the comic:

The panels that I use were created as a layer in Photoshop. They are fixed at 600x800 pixels.

I created a double sized (1200x1600) jpg of the panels and saved it to do drafts of the comic on.

1. I open the jpg in Sketchbook Pro.
a) I take the script that Ahniwa sent me and on a scratch piece of paper I draw a thumbnail of what it will look like. I do this to get an idea of space and how I'm going to set up the scenario visually. This is where procrastination becomes a problem for me.

b) Once I have the thumbnail done I sketch out the bigger versions on the jpg template in Sketchbook. Doing this allows me to go outside the borders, which I do quite often.

c) I save the image at double size (still 1200x1600) as a "Best" quality jpg.

2. Open Photoshop.
a) I open the jpg and create a new layer on top of the sketch.

b) Under "image size" i have the resolution cranked up to 300.

c) On this new layer I use a 9px paint brush and do all of the foreground characters and things.

d) I create a new background layer and draw all background characters and action. This layer has the opacity turned down to 75% so that when I do coloring the colors show through the lines. Making things look slightly out of focus.

e) I create a new layer called "Color Foreground"

To get around my colorblindness I had to create swatches of color for each character. I've labeled all of these: "Theo's hair", "Ahniwa's Hair", "Ahniwa's shirt", etc. Even if you have sharp eyes, I'd recommend doing this anyway. It seriously speeds up coloring.

f) This is where I differ from many of my colleagues as far as the coloring process goes. From what I understand, they use the magic wand tool and change between the inking layer and coloring layer selecting different areas to color. I usually find it easier (unless I'm coloring an extremely large area) to just use the paintbrush and just color.

For today's comic I didn't do any shadows, just flat colors, and I like the way it turned out. I may use shadows eventually, and when I do, I'll explain how I do that.

g) At this point I do marquee and paint bucket fills for background colors. Keep them simple and duotone if possible. You don't want them detracting from the foreground colors/action.

I save a copy of this as "(comic date)draftcolor.psd" and you're ready to add dialogue!

3. I create a new layer for each of the characters. I create one layer first, then I go layer-->layer style-->stroke and change it to black and 3px. I then copy that layer as many times as I need to. Copy BEFORE you start typing.

a)I copy and paste the text from the script into the comic and edit for length accordingly.

b)I then use the oval marquee tool and create a bubble around the text.

c) Edit-->fill choose background color and then hit ok. Voila, speech bubbles.

d) Then I use the lasso tool to connect the bubbles to the characters.

e) I then save the image as "(comic date)draftdialogue.psd"

4. Now it's time to add the frames.

a) Open the frames .psd

b) Double the size to 1200x1600.

c) Drag the frames onto the inked comic and center them

d) Go back to the "ink" layer and do touch-up work. Then do the same for the background layer.

e) Add the copyright info.

5. Save the image once more and then flatten it. This keeps the dialogue the same size in relation to the image. If you shrink the image while the dialogue has its own layer, sometimes it will stay the same size and that creates quite a headache. Then I save it as a .png file and it's ready to ship!

I know that may not make any sense. I've been doing this process for so long now that I just kinda do it by heart without even thinking. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail or comment them to me. I love to talk about this stuff.

Anyway, hope y'all have a great day and I'll see if I can get some more sketches up this weekend along with that side project that I'm working on. I really want you guys to see the draft!

--GOGIVEPERFETIONASHOTINTHEFACE--

Treats for EVERYONE!!!

2006-02-09T23:42:00.000-08:00

I worked on these and another project that I'm doing. AND I did a full color strip for Friday. Over 6 hours of drawing.

My hand hurts. But I'm Fuckin' happy.

--WE'REHEREWHENYOUNEEDUS24/7--

Oooo...the Munchies!

2006-02-09T00:28:00.000-08:00

Enjoy the art.

--SERIALNUMBERSLOCATEDONCDSLEEVE--

Giving in to the Man

2006-02-07T11:05:00.000-08:00

Each day I wake up and it's a new chance. An opportunity to prove myself to the world. To make a difference.

And then I come to work.

This project that I mentioned yesterday has gotten me down. Down so far that I'm thinking about quitting. And that's sad.

I was remembering when I first got the job, last year about this time. I was happy beyond all reason to be employed full-time and to have benefits. I was happy to get out from under a repressive boss and menial assignments that were doomed to fail. And when I first got this job, it was anything but. It was the antithesis of what I had been doing. I was engaged, I was excited, I was working with people in an environment that encouraged success!

Suddenly, I've been tossed a project that is doomed and has been doomed from the beginning. Partly my pessimism over this project has affected my success at it, but it does need the participation of other schools and I'm not getting it. I've contacted, pitched and contacted again and all I'm getting are message machines and unreturned e-mails.

And I'm made to feel bad about this. THAT is the part I don't understand. My boss actually blames me for other people not contacting me. If I called any more it would be considered harrassment.

So now I'm thinking about school again. I used to think that a business degree is what I wanted. Now I'm not so sure. I'm actually thinking about graphic design now. I know it's a really tough field to break into, but I feel that with my background and interest in it, I'm set. I've done one graphic design job before and got $300 for it. Should have gotten more, but it wasn't a very good job.

Anyway, if you have any suggestions for graphic design schools in the Southern California (read: San Diego) area, lemme know.

--CONSERVINGOURNATURALRESOURSESISNOTMYPRIORITY--

On the Trivialities of Tivoli

2006-02-06T15:03:00.000-08:00

Kari, sorry I didn't answer my phone this weekend. I was out of comission.

Have you ever felt that you were going insane? That's today for me.

This morning there was a staff meeting and during the meeting there was a barrage of questions about an event that I'm coordinating. The problem is that the questions that were being asked of me were questions I could not answer. The look of dissapointment in my boss's eyes was enough to crush an adult man. Me.

So this afternoon I've been sitting at my desk completely unmotivated and wishing that I had a different job. That's funny because it'll be a year ago on my birthday that I got this job in the first place.

And honestly, there's nothing wrong with the job per se. This angst I'm feeling is really about being pushed into doing something that not only tests my abilities as a PR person, but also my abilities as an event coordinator. Funny thing is, I specifically didn't want to coordinate activities. Especially not something this big. But whatever. It's in my lap. I have to run with it.

I've made contacts at 14 local schools and today I sent e-mails and left phone messages with all of them. No one was in/answering their phones. I have a deadline of getting this the other schools to participate by Friday. We'll see if they get back to me. If they haven't called/e-mailed me back by Wed, I'm calling them again.

As far as the art is concerned I'm absolutely stoked. I don't think Monday's strip turned out as well as it could have, but it didn't turn out badly. My sketches are definately getting better, it's just a matter of keeping my motivation up.

Wow, today I have a 1/1 ratio on e-mails recieved to e-mails sent. Cool.

Alright, time to get back to work.

--ITWASACLEARANDSTARRYNIGHT--

Of All the Things to Forget at Home This Morning...

2006-02-02T13:41:00.000-08:00

I've been put in charge of a project at work. A project that I feel is not worth my time, effort nor expertise. I feel that my talents are being squandered.

What are my talents? Being a lazy, listening to good music, drawing, drinking coffee, being interesting, darts and pool. Sometimes I write well. Oh, and I love to read.

Seriously, I should have just stayed in school and not stopped after one degree. Another one is on the way, but man, I really do dread hard work. That single fear has kept me from more things than I care to imagine. Crazy.

Anyway, on a happier note, I brought my old computer speakers in to work. Now I'm listening to jazz in style. It's absolutely wonderful but I'm kind of afraid the people on the floor below will come up and yell at me for having a 3'x3' subwoofer above their heads.

I've developed a routine that I'd like to tell you about. Well, I don't really want to talk about it, but I'm under the mistaken impression that nobody reads my blog so I'm gonna write about it anyway. I get off work and immediately go to the Eagles to play darts. I play darts for about 2 hours and then I go home and draw from about 8pm until 11:30 or midnight. Sometimes I play darts more and then I only get 2 hours of drawing in. The point is, I have no time for anything else. I don't really hang out with anyone I don't play darts with, I still have netflix movies from nearly a week ago that I have yet to watch...my life has pretty much come to a grinding halt. My life outside of darts and art, that is. But really I'm too happy to do anything about it so the status quo stays.

My birthday's coming up in 20 days. I'm stoked!

That's about it. I really have nothing else to report.

--HOWEVERITHAPPENSTHISISGOINDOWN--

On the History of Madness and Mondays

2006-01-31T09:11:00.000-08:00

As I said in the Post, I finally got my new tablet.

There really are no words. You will just have to keep up with the comic and see what happens.

Hmmm, what's been going on...well not a heck of a lot. I took yesterday off as a sort of mental health day. I needed it. Bava and I spent most of the afternoon at the Spar drinking coffee and speaking expositorally on our favorite web comics.

Then I spent the afternoon drawing. Then the evening was spent playing pool, then darts. Then more drawing. Then sleep. The sleep was restless because I was dreaming about drawing.

I had an epiphany this morning as I was standing in line for food at Fred Meyer, but I can't remember what the hell it was. I wasn't fully functional due to lack of blood in my caffein system.

BURN MORE FAT! YAHAHAHA!!!

Last Saturday I took a bunch of students up to Seattle for a SketchCrawl. It was pretty fun, but I was kind of dissappointed in the overall participation. I think that when faced with the actual act of drawing in public, some of the students kinda blanked. Which is really too bad because I did some really cool stuff. I really hope I get to do that again soon.

Right now I'm listening to The Magic Flute and trying to get work done. Seriously, stop distracting me. I MEAN IT!

Doode.

Have a great day!

--RECONNECTIONISSCHEDULEDFORTHEFOLLOWINGBUSINESSDAY--

True Story

2006-01-27T09:58:00.000-08:00

There are certain things that I wish to convey. But not to you, and not now.

How's that for maintainiing the mystery! Hah!

Anyway, I just spent money on two things. Bills and a new tablet. I'm almost nervous about the tablet, but it's what all my favorite artists use and that makes me a little more confident.

I've had wayyy too much coffee for my own good this morning. I'm sitting here listening to The Magic Flute and trying to work. And it's not working. One of my co-workers is out sick and the other one is in Indiana. I'm here, kinda on my own and let me tell you, ain't no motivation like no motivation.

Other than that there's nothing really to report. I'm doing really well now. I'm playing a LOT of darts and really enjoying doing the comic strip. I'm working on developing a faster process for coloring. That's kinda what the new tablet is for. I also need a new computer, so if you have a little extra cash laying about, donate to the fund! Thanks!

Anyway, I should probly go get stuff done. Click on some links if you get bored. I'll try to remember to post again later. No promises though. It IS after all, Friday.

--TGIF,BABY.TGIF--

CA Cash Refund

2006-01-26T09:16:00.000-08:00

Well, it's another Thursday. It's not raining outside. Thank god. I've got a full cup of coffee next to me and a dream in my head.

I had the idea that I would turn this blog into my other artistic creative outlet, outlining what and how I use my tools to create a comic. But in the end, I think it would destroy the blog. The little gnomes that help me would see any kind of thematic shift as me usurping the tiny amount of control they have and I would have a rebellion on my hands. Can't have that now.

So the blog format stays. I'll post once in a blue moon and we'll call it good!

Naw, I just be kiddin' y0.

For those of you who know me, you are already aware of how stressful the last week was. I had a breakdown of some sort on MLK day and so went to the doctor the following afternoon. I was diagnosed with pretty severe depression and got a prescription for Fluoxetine, the generic name for Prozac.

I've been taking this drug for a little over a week now and I've got to clear up some stuff about it. First of all, NONE of the side effects have happened to me. I know that I'm supposed to wait about a month for it to kick in, but I have had none of the side effects listed anywhere on the web.

After this first week of taking this stuff, I'm here to say that it has really helped in a couple areas. I'm no longer clenching my teeth at night so hard that I wake up with a sore jaw. I'm getting ENOUGH sleep, which is important. I'm also a little more organized. This all could be the placebo effect, but it feels more like something has leveled out in my mind. Nothing is quite as dramatic as it used to be.

One side effect that really worried me, as an artist, was that it would somehow styme my creative urges. I can assure everyone that it hasn't. In fact, it has made me more focused. I'm a little bit ahead of the game as far as the comic is concerned and I'm staying that way.

Honestly, I'm just enjoying every part of life a lot more, rather than just living for the high moments. I'm in full support of drugs if they can help me never feel like I did on that Monday ever again.

Other than that, life is pretty uneventful right now. I'm still completely addicted to Sketchbook Pro. The sketch up at the comic was created using it. I find it a LOT easier to use than Photoshop because the line weights depend on the pressure of my pen on the tablet. For some reason, Photoshop stopped doing that. Dunno why.

I'm supposed to get my tax refund tomorrow. First of all, I'm paying off my debts. Then I'm buying a new tablet. An early birthday present to myself. The rest goes into savings for a vacation I've been meaning to take for years.

More later.

--BOTTLEDATTHESOURCE--

Recipe for Disaster

2006-01-25T11:34:00.000-08:00

I have these plants in my office. An african violet, a gerber daisy and a...vine-y thing. I've been giving them lots of water and plenty of lovin'. Six months after I got them, they're still alive. This amazes me because I tend to kill every living thing I come into contact with...if it's vegetation.

There's no point to that story, I just wanted y'all to know.

I went back to a more classic blogger look. I couldn't handle those dreary colors anymore. Even this is a temporary change though. I want to design my own template at some point. Something with my own art invovlved. For now though, keeping up with the comic is enough work.

In this issue of, "Things I Saw Written on the Wall of a Catholic School Bathroom!":

"TIgger is my trigger"

What does it mean? I don't know. Why was it in the MEN'S bathroom? I don't know. I don't want to know.

--THEMOREILEARNTHELESSICARE--

When Are Things Due?

2006-01-13T11:45:00.000-08:00

There is this feeling I get when I don't blog for extended periods. It's the perfect mix of being devastated and not caring.

Nothing much has been going on. I'm trying to get over whatever it is that I was trying to get over before I stopped posting and I'm also drawing. A lot.

Today I was looking around the internet and I stopped by Myspace.com, as I am prone to do, and checked once again the list of people who have signed up from the service who graduated from my high school in '98.

It's strange to see where people ended up and how much they really haven't changed. I started to wonder, have I changed that much? Have the experiences in my life changed me to the degree that if these people were to run into me (not drunk), would they be able to REALLY say, "I know you!" and mean it? Then I realized that many of these people had NO CLUE who I was in high school. I didn't hang out with them, they never played golf with me or listened to my music and most of them really didn't care.

What I find slightly ironic is that it has generated a low-level inferiority complex. And that bugs me. But I'm working on it.

But hell, I draw a web comic. How many people do that? A couple hundred thousand? I think it's an achievement and that's what matters.

Anyway, now that I've got the ball rolling, I may as well keep it going, right?

I watched Fantastic 4 yesterday. Good lord. If there is a movie that you need to miss, it's that one. Ugh.

Four Brothers on the other hand, that wasn't horrible. Walberg isn't impressive at all. In fact, he lowers himself quite a bit to try and turn himself in a crazed white guy from a rough neighborhood. I enjoyed everything up to the ending. The ending sucked. Not the climax of the movie, they do that in style. The last 3 mins of the film are just horrible.

Anyway, the new comic is up. Read it, love it, comment.

--PRODUCTISHOT;PLEASEHANDLEWITHCARE--

Yarrr!

2006-01-06T12:40:00.000-08:00

Arty Kid

Whether you were a drama freak or an emo poet, you definitely were expressive and unique.

You're probably a little less weird these days - but even more talented!

Who Were You In High School?

Dude...It's all about the boxer briefs

2006-01-06T11:04:00.000-08:00

What Your Underwear Says About You

When you're bad, you're very bad. And when you're good, you're still trouble!

You're the type of guy who chooses his underwear based on who might see it that day.

"What's the point of wearing your rocketship underpants if no one's gonna ask to see 'em?!" --Calvin and Hobbes

The Underwear Oracle

Hmmm...thought I'd be more...

2006-01-06T11:00:00.000-08:00

You Are Somewhat Machiavellian

You're not going to mow over everyone to get ahead...
But you're also powerful enough to make things happen for yourself.
You understand how the world works, even when it's an ugly place.
You just don't get ugly yourself - unless you have to!

How Machiavellian Are You?

Already called this one...

2006-01-06T10:58:00.000-08:00

You're an Expert Kisser

You're a kissing pro, but it's all about quality and not quantity
You've perfected your kissing technique and can knock anyone's socks off
And you're adaptable, giving each partner what they crave
When it comes down to it, your kisses are truly unforgettable

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

oh, you know I'm that bad!

2006-01-06T10:53:00.000-08:00

Your Stipper Song Is

Pour Some Sugar on Me by Def Leppard

"Love is like a bomb, baby, c'mon get it on
Livin' like a lover with a radar phone
Lookin' like a tramp, like a video vamp
Demolition woman, can I be your man?"

Break out the baby oil, you rock it old school.

What Song Should You Strip To?

Addicted? No....

2006-01-06T10:46:00.000-08:00

Your Brain's Pattern

Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent.
You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored.
You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts.
And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Dude...

2006-01-06T10:43:00.000-08:00

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$1,071,814

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

Loverly

2006-01-06T09:29:00.001-08:00

Oven Roasted Garlic and Oregano Blend, Deep Fried in a Whiskey Batter

Long lasting and completely unhealthy.
You focus on the wrong things at the right time.
You are not very easily impressed, except by other greasy foods.
Yet, you are a beacon for all those who crave high cholesterol. Chase your dreams, baby!

What's Your Pizza Personality?

Pot and Sex Clubs. How Backwater are we NOW?!

2005-12-21T14:27:00.000-08:00

I'm a fan of monogonomy. Always have been, always will be. Except, if you're not in a relationship, why not move to Cananananaaada for a while?!

--MELOVEYOUANDALLYOURFRIENDSLONGTIME--

TPS Reports are Pointless

2005-12-21T13:26:00.000-08:00

Yeah, you think I'm a spaz, don't you? Yes, I knew you did.

Sorry 'bout the last coupla posts. They haven't really been up to snuff. From here on out I promise nothing.

I'm sitting at work but I can't for the life of me figure out why. I have vacation time I could use and it'd probly be better if I did. I'm getting paid to sit around and do absolutely nothing.

"There must be something you could be doing!" you say.

No, there isn't. I've finished all my pre-spring semester work and if I start anything else without it being approved by the boss-lady, I'll end up re-doing anyway.

So there you have it.

Why do I love Christmas? A couple of reasons. The first one is that people are mean this time of year. You want to flick off that shitty driver next to you? Do it! Everyone else is.

Washington gets an obscene amount of rain. I'm not saying that our total rainfall level is comparable to that of the Amazon, Ibut I am saying that we can go for MONTHS without seeing blue sky. And yet Washingtonians cannot drive in the rain. WTF?!

We can't drive in the sun either. And LORD knows we can't drive in the snow. Fog? Fuhgetaboutit! We can handle a slightly cloudy day, and even then it gets dicey if we're going faster than 10 mph.

So I'm driving to work this morning and not only is there rain coming from EVERY direction, but ALL of the big shipping trucks have decided to haul their cargo at the same time. Have you ever driven your car into the neighbors pool that you previously filled with live alligators? You have? Well then, it was like that.

So this ass-hat decides that he's gonna be a flippin genius and instead of slowing down to get into the exit lane behind me, he tries to speed up on my left, tailgate a oversized load and then cut me off.

I am the first to admit that I suffer from road rage. But I'm able to control it so that it comes out as me simply yelling at the people. I never use hand jestures. And if they look over at me I usually stop yelling and cow my head. But this time I just couldn't hack it anymore. I actually flipped this guy off, over the dashboard.

I don't think he saw me because I'm sure he had a gun and would've shot to kill. Either that or this is a regular thing for him and he just felt that it was the response he's supposed to get upon merging.

In any case, that was definately a first for me. So yeah, enjoy the holidays.

--PLEASETALKMOREQUIETLY--

We Do Not Push Our Religion On Others

2005-12-19T15:03:00.000-08:00

I got my cup o' noodles. And it was good.

Other than that there is nothing to report. I've started yawning uncontrolably and I think that means I'm tired and it's time to go home.

I'v got another 45 mins, then I can take off.

I've taken down all the pictures. It's funny how you never really think about all the little things you'll have take down. And then, what do you do with them? Do you save them? Do you throw them away? Do you stuff them under the bed? Do you burn them? I don't know the procedure. No one briefed me. Not to be too melodramatic, but I think that this is something I have to figure out for myself.

And you thought I was speaking in metaphors! haha!

It's another grey Washington day and I'm soooo ready to sit on my couch and veg. I kinda want a beer but honestly, after this weekend I don't know if that's such a good idea. I probly won't. I've got comics to draw.

--IPLAYWITHMACROME--

2005-12-19T11:34:00.000-08:00

I took last week off. I just did. It was a mental health thing. I needed to clear my mind and get re-focused. It worked. I'm now back to training to be a rock star.

Had a decent weekend. Played pool, got drunk, sobered up, hung out, drew a comic, and got drunk again. Think I'm done gettin' drunk for a while. When it stops being fun and becomes a burden, it's time to stop.

I want some soup. I wish I had soup. Maybe I can steal one of the cup o' noodles from the supply closet.

CUP O NOODLES!

--DONCHUWISHYERGIRLFRIENDWASHOTLIKEME?--

Tide's a changin'

2005-12-13T09:35:00.000-08:00

I was lying in bed this morning, trying not to wake up, and I realized something: Many things happen in the world that I just don't care about.

Now, I'm not saying that what happens to me personally is more important than the assassination of an anti-syrian journalist in Lebenon, but seriously, I don't care.

Actually, let me ammend that. I do care. But I care differently than I used to. I have lost much interest because people refuse to learn the right lessons from this type of thing. Not only does it upset me, but I feel the urge to stop paying attention altogether.

I won't, but I just needed to threaten you a bit.

--TAKEADAYOFFJUSTFORYOU--

This Post is Brought to You by: The Present Tense!

2005-12-08T12:42:00.000-08:00

I'm tired. So incredibly tired. But I can't sleep. I'm a restless big ball of spaz.

Hot Dogs! I wanna hot dog.

And an ice cold Coca-Cola Classic!

This is an interesting week, dear readers. An interesting week indeed.

But you don't get to know what happened! 'cause why? 'cause it's my life you greedy schmuck!

I last two days without a cigarette. Then I go a couple days only smoking in the evening and keep it down to two or three. I am on my way to quitting. Last night and the night before, I not only fall off the wagon, I jump as the wagon careans down a cliff. On Fire. And 'splodin'.

BUT, I am actually AT the Eastside last night when the smoking ban goes into effect. The bartender is making a sad announcement and at 11:50pm, EVERYONE lights a cig. At midnight they all go out and he comes around and collects the ash trays. Everyone leaves. It is sad. But good.

The law is ridiculous here in Olympia though. You must be 25 feet from a building entrance or window if you're gonna be "doing that". Well, if you've ever been to Olympia, you move 25 feet away from ANYTHING and you're inside another building. How they're gonna make this work, I don't know. But I do plan on quitting. Soon. Now that I can't smoke in the bars it'll be easy, right w0nderyak? (dude lives in LA)

Anyway, that's about all I gots. I hope I get enough sleep tonight. I need it bad. Of course there's the office Christmas party tonight (we're a catholic school so I'm allowed to call it a 'Christmas party', as opposed to a 'Holiday party'.

I gotta head off. Take care of yourselves and remember to give up that nasty habit!

--GODDAMMITJIMICAN'TTAKEMUCHMOREOFTHIS--

The Salt of this Salty Earth

2005-12-01T13:45:00.000-08:00

I'm slowly losing faith in all those things that people hold most deer.

This is not a true story.

I got an email inviting me to participate in the only Civil War re-enactment society that exists in Washington State. Since 0 minus 0 is 0, none of the battles were fought in Washington so what is there to re-enact? The whole damn thing. You see, these people spend a month each year re-enacting the ENTIRE Civil War. So I emailed the guy back and told him that I wasn't interested but I work at a SMALL university that may have students interested. I mentioned that I specifically work with international students, thinking that maybe the idea of a Chinese student showing up would dissuade this gentleman from propositioning me any longer.

It had the opposite affect.

The next email I recieved from Charlieswarreenactmentsocietyofwashingtonstate@Hotmail.com was a crazy (and by crazy I mean incomprehensible) string of garbage that mixed racially motivated bigotry with the stunning confession that he had been tortured by the Chinese special forces during an undercover mission to rescue a buddy of his right after Vietnam that went awry.

Needless to say he wanted nothing to do with our Chinese students. He did however suggest that we get a bunch of our Hawaiian students together because though Hawaii is one of our newest aquisitions (his word), they deserve a chance to participate in the re-enactment of this land's great history.

I wanted to needle this crazy bastard, so I sent him an email asking about the Japanese exchange students. They are studying American history right now and since they've covered the Civil War I suggested that they come and watch. Less than five minutes later I got an email about how the Japanese are in league with the Jews and the Italians to uncover the massive oil reserves in the arctic, thusly trying to control the world's next great oil supply.

How the hell does one respond to this? I didn't know so I just didn't email him back. There's no way that one can associate with an individual as crazy as that. No way.

On a completely unrelated note: My friend Adam told me that there was this guy who had his face ripped off by a crazy chimp while celebrating the birthday of a chimp he used to own. Adam doesn't lie.

On to today's theme! It's Do Not Wait to Enjoy the Benefits of this Offer Thursday! DNWTETBOTOT!

Seriously, if my doctor looked ANYTHING like this I would never go to the doctor again.

Ever been to Worcester? I haven't but really, with the advent and proliferation of the intarwebs, who needs to travel anymore?! Here, I'll be your tourguide. Here's downtown. Love it. Here's the cathedral. Not sure if it's in MA, but still, it's the cathedral. This picture says, "TODAY" but I don't think it is. I think it was last week. Or even last year. Dont' even ask. Ok. Tour's over.

Who couldn't use hedgehog supported gopher repellant?!

I want this guy to sell ME a house!

I'm now going to wish you a happy DNWTETBOTOT! TTYL!

--LOVEYALOTSTOOTSBUTIGOTSHITTOBLOWUP--

Going Down To Cow Town

2005-12-01T09:19:00.000-08:00

I'm not really certain how to begin this post.

What's really been on my mind is something I can't really post on this blog because I'm not sure who reads it. Mainly it's a about w0rk and since I have no desire to be Dooced, I'm just gonna avoid it.

On to other things.

I slipped. I fell, like a bottle of water, off the wagon. I had not one, not two, but 8 cigarettes last night. I was so pissed off when i left work yesterday that I stopped at the gas station, bought myself a pack of Camel Lights, went down to the Eastside and shot pool for like an hour. Then I went dancing but my heart wasn't in it. This morning I'm feeling like shit though. My lungs hurt, my brain hurts and I can barely see.

'Course that last one could be the glaucoma.

I usually try to compose my rants on the way to work, and I composed a beautiful one for today but have since forgotten it. It's really too bad.

It's supposed to snow again today. Like 4 inches. It hasn't happened yet, but then it's only 9:20am and the snow advisory doesn't go into effect until 10am. 40 mins and I'm on pins and needles. I WANNA SNOW DAY!

I can't really think of anything else to post right now. Theme of the day when I feel like it.

--USHERINGINANEWERA--

Tropical Citrus Juice...IN THE EYE!

2005-11-30T14:14:00.000-08:00

I'm spending the afternoon trying to recover from my morning coffee binge. It was way too crazy.

I'm not a fan of the zits that appear after three straight days of eating leftover pizza.

Well, you're probably ready for the theme of the day. Lost at sea for hours and hours without direction, without reason, without fleas. Or with fleas if you're into that.

I wish I had an accent. An upper-crust British accent to be specific. Just in case I'm not pretentious enough already, I want to have that added on top. Like a nicely whipped topping. So, in lieu of me making a COMPLETE ass of myself, it's I Wish I Had an English Accent Wednesday! IWIHAEAW!

What did I tell you. You can't be truly successful until you have an english accent, so like this guy, you'll want to improve your chances.

Of course that doesn't make your success a certainty. But in a structured environment, it's good to have someone to kick your ass when you fall behind.

seriously though, the more I search the more I'm kinda wondering about all of this. Sometimes I'm proud of my Yankee accent. There will never be a replacement for good ol' American pie.

There you have it. Theme of the day is posted and ready to be explored expeditiously.

Stupid bi-peds.

--GIVEAGUYATWINKIE,HE'LLGETFAT.TEACHAMANTOTWINKIE,HE'LLBERICH--

The Connundrum Continues Conquoring Conan

2005-11-30T11:21:00.000-08:00

There is no snow today so it is officially .02% as awesome as yesterday.

The fact that I had to wake up, crawl out of bed, get ready and pay my car insurance this morning really didn't help today's rating either.

Today's comic took WAAYYY too much time to do. Was it worth it? Probably. It's the best coloring job I've done yet. But 4 hours? I dunno... I hope we win the F'n contest. Or at least get 3rd.

I need a full day at the women's spa. Just a day.

Today has been the day of overcompensating. Not the comic, but the three shots of espresso and the 20oz drip I've had already this morning. This 'giving up cigs' thing is slowly driving me crazy.

It still pisses me off that Ahniwa NEVER bitches about giving them up. He's just like, "Whoop, not smokin' no more!" and doesn't touch 'em. I feel like the bastard stepchild of Tammy Faye Baker.

In other news, something wierd happened yesterday then happened again today and it has me a little bit freaked out, as in dejavu.

Background: I always prepare my coffee the same way in the morning.

Here are the steps:

1. Ironically grab a 20oz cup.
2. Furiously empty two cream 'things' into the bottom of the cup.
3. Lugubriously tear 2 sugar packets open and pour.
4. Tragically fill the cup to top with Dark Roast.
5. Languidly smile.

So, for the last two mornings, between steps 3 and 4, I've had to fish BOTH sugar packets out of the cream sitting in the bottom of my cup because I've got butterfingers. You see, I open both sugar packets at once and for the first time in the three months of getting coffee from the cafeteria I have dropped the packets to their rich and creamy doom. It happened yesterday and it happened again this morning. That one thing made today feel like yesterday. I hate dejavu so early in the morning. That shit should be illegal until 3pm, at least.

My work study got a new computer. Somehow it's worse than mine. I dunno how that happened or where they got the parts, but it's a sack of horse manueur. <--on purpose typo.

I've been thinking for quite a while what drives me artistically. All artists must have something and to call myself the exception to this rule would be like saying Bava and Amos aren't the prince and princess of pies, respectively.

My 'thing' really is coffee. It used to be alcohol and cigarettes.

People say that drugs are bad, but in the words of Bill Mahr, "They haven't hurt my record collection!" I feel kinda like that about alcohol. I don't condone the use of substances to induce a creative state, but a little bit of wine or a martini really used to get my creative juices flowing and then I would mellow myself out with a smoke. Now that cigarettes are out, I'm gonna have to limit my drinking too.

This morning has been a carnival of pain. I went down to register my car this morning, finally, and because my brother had the car less than 7 years, they want to charge me 263 American dollars in sales tax. That's a LOT of money! But, a brother's gotta drive.

It's lunchtime. Theme of the day coming later.

--WHISPERTOTHEWHIPPERWILLANDITWILLWHISPERBACK--

Bridging the Gap

2005-11-29T13:25:00.000-08:00

You know things are going well when Jesus loans you his elephant for the afternoon.

So how are you doing? Great. Well, the snow stopped. I'm not totally thrilled about that.

Everybody at work was freakin' out about driving home in the snow. Maybe it's because I'm such a great fuckin' driver, but snow never really bothered me. You just gotta go extra slow, leave plenty of space between you and the car in front of you, and, like every other day, pray that a meteor doesn't choose that exact moment to relieve you of having to worry about insurance anymore. Stupid people suck.

I also hate people who exagerate. There was this girl in the elevator as I was coming back from lunch who was all like:

I'm sooo, like, spending New Years in New Orleans!

Her friend:

Well, I heard there was like only one bar open.

One bar? It's fucking New Orleans! If there isn't someone drinking alcohol, a baby angel is melting in the fires of hell and you can actually see it happening before your eyes. See anything yet? That's right. What a crazy biaznatch.

Gotta go.

--I'VEGOTMEETINGSALLAFTERNOON--

November is Officially Brambly

2005-11-29T10:04:00.000-08:00

It's snowing. Not the kind of snow that sticks around for days and days and drifts you into your home. No, we don't get that kind of snow. These are the big gloppy flakes that make you want to go home and light a fire in your fireplace and drink mugs and mugs of hot chocolate.

Me? I'm at work with a big-ass cup of coffee trying not to get the jitters too bad.

You see, I picked today to try and stop smoking.

For those of you who have known me over the last few years, you know that I've been a slightly less than vocal, but still militant, smoker. I believe in smokers rights and I don't like it when people get self-riteous and tell me to quit. I enjoy it and I tend not to over-indulge. Smoking has always been one of those simple pleasures that I've come to appreciate in my old-age. (I'm 25.)

Part of my addiction came from the romantic aspect of cigarettes. My hero, Humphrey Bogart, smoked until the day he died. As did Groucho Marx, George Burns, and Dennis Leary (who isn't quite dead yet). I started smoking in France while I was studying there and never quite stopped. I quite twice. Once because of a bad break-up and once because of another bad break-up. Funny that I would quit at the end.

Anyway, if I piss you off in the next couple weeks, please find it in your heart to forgive me. Thank you.

Since it's snowing today, it's "I Wish I Was in the Sahara TUESDAY!" IWIWITST! Learn it, love it, livid!

*dons voice of documentary narrator*

At first glance, the Sahara looks kinda like...it's a dirty mountain.

Or a sandy snake winding off into the distance.

But in fact, it's much bigger than that.

It's teaming with life... I mean life!

Travelers need to cross and find many a way to get from one side to the other. Some people are fuckin' crazy tho.

Some people come only to look at things. Others are there to kick some ass. And some people can't believe it.

Me? I just like to take a relaxing vacation.

I wish I had a digital camera. Maybe if BAVA ever wakes up we'll get photos of what's going on outside. It's crazy cool! SOOOO white.

Love y'all but I gotta get suff done today. Happy IWIWITST!

--THERE'SSOMETHINGIHAVEN'TTOLDYOUYET--

Do Not Snap at Me Mrs. Salmon, For I Will EAT You

2005-11-28T10:32:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving was good. Having a four day weekend was good. The Problem? It wasn't enough time.

I spent Thursday hanging out with Friends of the Family, or FOTF as I like to call 'em and then had the distinct pleasure of participating in a rousing round of Smell The G/F's Sister's Boyfriend's Natural Gas. Not a fan of the stench, let me tell you. Some places are better left from than stayed at.

Friday was spent doing something. I remember eating leftovers, going shopping and drinking at the Eagles. Oh, and AMOS stopped by and gave me cookies! Damn delicious!

Saturday was spent drunk. I did stuff in the morning. A lot of it related to the comic but some not so much. Then I got REALLY drunk. I went to the Eagles at about 3pm and played pool by myself until 6pm when Adam showed up. Then he got so drunk he could barely stand. Then we went to the Eastside. Adrian and met us and we played pool until they kicked us out. I was drinking beer from 3pm until 3am. Then I got 6 hours of sleep.

I drew ALL day on Sunday. Then played pool with Adrian at about 6. Got bored, came home, watched a defective copy of La Dolce Vita and then the bonus stuff on Clerks. Then passed the hell out.

Now, why would I relate all of this to you? For one and simple reason: I've had too much coffee to keep the lies straight anymore. I needed to come clean. There you have it.

I need more of this. I had one 20oz cup thus far this morning, but if I'm going to make it through this day without a nap, then I'll be need more. Lots more.

There was an article on NPR this morning about sleep that I really liked. The doctor they interviewed said that humans need about 8 hours of sleep to function adaquately. He said that people start to lose efficiency if they get less and if they get less on a regular basis it results in stress that causes diabetes. THAT was a kind of a shocker. I'm going to bed at 10 tonight.

Do not run into this man or this man in a dark alley. You will be raped.

Her? She'll probly rape you too.

Apparently it's Humans Dressed as Twinkies Monday! HDTM! FUN!!!!

--GIVEMEAMONTHANDAGRANDANDI'LLLOSETHATWEIGHTFORYOU--

Diary of an Angry Sock Monkey

2005-11-23T10:14:00.000-08:00

There are no words to describe the mental Kung-Fu I have had to use to fight off my mortal enemies this morning. I swear to GOD, these people are trying to kill me.

I was thinking about today being something like, "My girlfriend's a Ninja Wednesday!" but the internet finally let me down. There are no pics of the g/f as a ninja, nor are there any practical/funny pics of ninjas doing their thing. I tried looking for ninja detection devices. That didn't work either. oi.

So, in honor of the topic dying, I present to you, with neither further fanfair nor ado, "ADVENTURE WILL EAT YOU WEDNESDAY! HELL YEAH!!!" or AWEYWHY. Easy to pronounce.

wait...no. That won't work. None of the pictures I'm finding are adventuresome enough. GRRR! For the people that are in them, they're great. The people look like they're having fun, they're screaming, whatever. They just don't inspire me to scream like a girl.

Of course, you have to let the adventure begin.

Awww hell yeah! It's about time they combined Adventure with Alcohol! Go Absolut!

You all remember the Oregon Trail? THAT was high adventure. Or it was only adventure when high. Well here's a shirt for you!

I used to love the Choose Your Own Adventure series. It seemed that everyone had their own way of reading them. Mine was traditional. I would follow one storyline to it's conclusion, then return the book to the library. If it lasted 10 pages, so be it. It really left a sour taste in my mouth on many of them because the character died pretty quick most of the time. If you were a fan of the books, you'll waste HOURS on this game.

That is all. I have work to do.

--ROXANNEYOUDON'THAVETOTURNONTHEBLUEIMEANREDLIGHT--

I had nothing to do with it!

2005-11-23T08:37:00.000-08:00

I am tired today. Not the normal, Wednesday, "oh no! I can't get out of bed!" tired. My brain won't stop shutting down. I've been at work for about 40 mins and my eyes just won't stay open. Unfortunately I only have $1 so I can't get my $1.60 cup of coffee. I should have taken the time to collect change at home before I left. OR they should start accepting debit cards in the cafeteria. Whatever. I'll live.

This week is short, and that makes it good. Unfortunately, that doesn't make Monday's, Tuesday's, or Wednesdays any easier to bear.

Have you ever met one of those people who has really just had a difficult time of it in life, and yet they have an incredibly cheery attitude? Every morning I see one. Usually my reaction is as follows: Anger. Resistance. Aquiescence. Smile. In the end I enjoy my conversations with this person. It just takes me a while.

Alright, I'm just getting warmed up so bear with me and I'll post again.

--IUSEDTOKISSASSBUTNOWIDONOT--

Caution and Consistency in a Call to Botswana

2005-11-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

On a side note, due to my absent-minded ass the comic will be up late today. Bava was reformatting his computer and I completely forgot to leave the comic with him last night. Oh well, so you guys have to wait. It's worth it.

This weekend was long. A very long weekend, folks. Do you know what that's like? I'll bet you have no idea. Listen, just because you're above the rule of 'lowly' human laws, it doesn't give you the right to rub it in my face.

In the most eloquent words of Napoleon Dynamite, "Jeeeeez!"

I forgot my phone at home today. It's probly not gonna matter, I'm just noting it because it's the first time I've left my phone at home in a LONG time and I feel kinda naked right now.

hold me.

Too much coffee. I tell you.

How's your Monday? Mine's good. I'm really f'n tired though. I stayed up late doing stuff on both Fri. and Sat. and then had to be up early on Sat and Sun. That's part of what made the weekend so long. Anyway, last night I got about 7.5 hours of sleep and I'm still exhausted.

I'm in the middle of trying to develop my own art to fit in the places where the pictures are right now. Above this post.

It's slow going because I need to a)think of something to draw and b) draw it.

so, in honor of that, it's PICK YOUR NOSE MONDAY! PYNM! (you say it as a word, not sounding out the letters.)

Can you do this? If you can...god bless you.

It seems that this 'habbit' is more appropriate among the innocent and aged.

in that first pic, it almost looks like they needed to get the poor kid stoned.

and then some random pic of a girl licking a frog. Enjoy.

Sorry I can't provide more links. I'm actually Super Busy right now.

I'll post more later. oh...hang on...I gotta yawn. Lovely.

--IWISHYOUCOULDSEETHEWORLDASIDOSAIDSAM--

Bringing Home Some Bacon!

2005-11-18T15:45:00.000-08:00

How about this: Every other day I'll retrofit my blog. Yes? No? Fuck you.

This is the last change for a while. What I'm gonna do now is just change the pictures in the upper portion from time to time. I did not draw this pic and it's driving me crazy that I have someone else's work on my blog. I'm an f'n artist. You'd think I'd be down for something a bit more...mine.

Anyway, Friday's comic is up. We really don't have enough readers yet. At least not for what we want to be doing. My eventual goal is to be able to quit my job and just draw the strip full time, but I doubt that's going to happen any time soon. Oh well.

WELCOME to Wish I'd Thought of that First Friday! Or WITFF!

Are you about to do shooters? YOU NEED SOME F'N PANTS!

Seriously, having a cat walking around in a thong is bad enough. This is probly some kind of fetish.

I don't (heart) pants, so I had to link to this.

I seriously don't have enough money.

Are you into Advanced Visual Interfaces? No? You might need this manual.

Maybe we should just replace pop music with one of these. I'd wear the shirt.

There you have it, WITFF!

There are so many things in the world that people think are mysterious and probably 'miracles' or the 'hand of God.' I'm here to assure you they aren't. Seriously. I was told by Herbert, down in accounting, that there's no such thing as God or Mystery. And he had it on good authority. He's my fishing buddy so I'd believe anything he says, y'know, except about that 15lb trout. He lied about that.

There really isn't anything like a little bit of faux Cuban music fo' dat ass on a Friday afternoon. You know I love it! Don't you wish you were listening to something as profound as someone who lives in Miami posing as a Cuban refugee playing music? I know that you do.

The request has been made and there is nothing you can do about it.

The music's in my cabesa!

do YOU want spam? Cause if you do, I've got TONS of it to pass on.

--OHHOWIWISHIWASN'THERE--

Keep Your Hands to Yourself!

2005-11-17T14:46:00.000-08:00

A couple more rants.

A while ago you may remember that I ranted about guys talking to guys in the bathroom. You just don't do it.

Another restroom pet peve of mine is guys who don't wash their hands after using the urinal.

Have you ever seen one of those pictures captured right as the guy is sneezing? You remember those little particles coming out of his face? That same kind of spray is coming from the urnial back toward your body. If I had my preference, we'd have to go through a chemical hose-down each time we exit a bathroom, but barring that, I wish that every guy would at least wash their hands.

I honestly don't know what is going through their minds when they just grab the handle that EVERYONE else must touch and then bolt. Watching students and faculty leave the bathroom without washing has led me to either knee the "handicap door opener mechanism" or use a paper-towel on the handle. You bastards give me more work.

*sigh*

Now on to Debit cards.

Last week Bava and I went to our hang-out downtown. A nifty little place that smells like the perfect mixture of warm beer and greese. It's the only place we can really get shit done on the comic though.

So, I went to pay for beverages and stuff at the register and saw a sign that had incrementally increased charges based on how much your bill was, but only for people paying with debit/credit cards.

Now, you gotta love a system that encourages you to use your debit card everywhere, they make ATMs more ubiquitous than music and then, because the system is beyond its limits, they start charging a little fee. So instead of paying a tip to my wonderful waitress, I have to look like a dick and pay the charge instead.

Bastardos.

Anyway, I wish people would wash their hands when leaving the bathroom and I wish that debit card charges didn't exist. Those are my opinions and they are unreasonable.

--DONOTCRYOVERSPILTMILKUNLESSYOU'REDROWNINGINIT--

No Mail Receptacle

2005-11-17T11:40:00.000-08:00

I want to develop policy. Not just any policy, though. THE policy. The policy that will override all others. The policy that will make sure your hair stays thick and bouncy, that will feed the full and starve the hungry, that will create a genre of world cinema and help your grandmother keep her real teeth.

How's Return to Sender Thursday goin' for ya? Mine's fine.

I never promised you a rose garden. Nor that I wouldn't talk politics on this blog. I'm sticking to both of those.

I just attended an interesting talk on Fair Trade here at the school. While I enjoyed much of what the presenters said, it made me think about why I shop at the Gap, why I don't care who made my clothes and why I only drink good beer.

I shop where I do and buy what I do because of two factors, both aesthetic. I like how they look and I like how they feel. I want to maintain a certain style and in order to do that I spend a lot of money and I have to look the other way when it comes to how the clothes were made.

When I can get a pair of low-rise, boot-cut jeans that actually come in my size from a fair trade organization, I'll start shopping there. But I refuse to buy a t-shirt that's made of burlap and says, "I support the workers." Because honestly, I don't.

I know this isn't going to make me very popular, but I'm of the opinion that one can work just about anywhere. If you don't like you're job, find another one. I bitch about my job all the time to Bava, but if I were serious, I'd quit and find another. Why don't I? Because I'm lazy. If I REALLY wanted that higher paying job I would go to business school immediately. But, I'm not. Because I'm lazy.

Sometimes, you don't have the opportunity to be lazy. If you work in a smoky restaurant and don't want to get cancer, quit. If you don't like your working conditions at all, quit. That's what I did at both Mervyn's and Suncoast. I didn't like the working conditions, so I quit. Yeah, I suffered a little bit both times, but it was worth it.

At the end of the lunch discussion, I asked about whether the third world countries are supporting the free trade movement themselves.

The answer was no. Across the board.

They said that the main reason is that fair trade is a workers movement. No factory owner in a third world country is going to support a cut in his profits in order to pay his workers more. Then they might start making enough money to leave. The other reason is the government. Many times the governments of third world countries are extremely unstable and any organization of people scares the government. In Africa there are a lot of countries that shut down fair trade businesses that try to start by calling them revolutionary.

I'm all for fair trade. If I was living in a third world country I would want more than thirty cents/hour. But since I live in the US of A, I'm not gonna go out of my way to buy goods that I don't think are visually appealing or comfortable or that I don't need. The local fair trade store sells a lot of drums, african masks and hats. I have no need for any of those things. Wish I could guys, but until you start having a sale on Yamaha fair trade center channel speakers, you're not high on my list of priorities.

Anyway, I'll come back with more humor tomorrow.

--WHYDOESHEALWAYSHAVETODOTHAT?--

This is a Multiple Unit Address Please Provide a Building number

2005-11-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

Gather 'round boys and girls. I've got a story to tell.

One day, a man named Algore invented the internet. It was for all the children of the world. It was an incredible time for the world because suddenly someone living in Queens, NY, could do a report on a place like, say, Botswana, and include actual pictures taken by locals in their report. It was amazing.

Now, one important thing about computers is that they speak in 1s and 0s, not words like you and me. Their language is almost a complete secret! But there is code that lets us name our computers. DNS. What does DNS do? It translates www.whatever.com into a specific number, held only by that site.

How Algore knew so much about DNS and IP addresses when dude can barely add, is a mystery for the ages. What we do know is that a non-profit controls assignment of DNS. This non-profit group is based in the U.S.

So who cares? Well, China, Iran, Syria, Lebanon. All the countries that HATE us because we have no content controls. Now, I know it's popular to hate the U.S., but seriously folks, we really don't have much control over what people put up on the web. I mean hell, look at the limits China put on blogs. If anyone complains about the U.S. and content control, tell them to take a hike.

Anyway, right now, in Tunisia, of all places, a little conference on 'The Internet' is taking place. Up for discussion is DNS and whether or not it should be 'controlled by' the U.S. NPR had a horrible article on this whole thing this morning, but I'm not gonna link to it because it's horrible.

Boogah boogah!

Welcome to GOPHER SMOKIN'A JOINT TUESDAY!

Unfortunately, with a title like that, you only get one picture.

But here's a gopher offering up advice.

It's like a really f'd up fortune cookie.

It's so tempting to just look at Technorati and start posting about their top ten searches...I want hits, but not that badly. For kicks I'll offer up this: Dawn Yang. We'll see.

Have a REALLY happy GSAJT! I know the gopher will.

--THEAWESOMEWANTSYOUWASTED--

The Wombat has Spoken

2005-11-13T23:36:00.000-08:00

So, it's waaayyy too late on a Sunday to be posting, but I've still got a bowl of Mac and Cheese to finish so I figured I'd give you guys a special treat.

This weekend has been pretty good.

On Friday I just kinda hung out. I drew for a bit...and then...honestly I really don't know what happened. I know that I didn't do too much.

Saturday I hung out, I drew, I watched 24. I know that much.

Then today I watched a movie, drew, played pool, and watched another movie. It was good.

And now...now I'm listening to music and eating food. Or whatever you wanna call it.

I know that I keep changing the template on my blog, and for this I'm sorry. The main problem thus far is that many people who read this blog do not just use one browser.

For those of you who have only used Internet Explorer, let me tell you now that there are other options out there. They are safe and, often, more functional that the internet browser that comes with Windows.

Opera: Opera is an amazing browser. Opera offers a nifty function called 'tabbed browsing'. Instead of opening a new window that simply takes up space in the task bar, Opera opens a full sized window inside the program itself. It also has a function for monitoring RSS feeds, if you're into that.

Firefox: Firefox is a browser that I'm just starting to try out now. It's interesting because it provides all the functionality and appearance of IE, without it being IE. That's about all I can see thus far.

Anyway, I keep changing my blog because people are using all kinds of browsers and I'm trying to be browser friendly.

Tonight I watched a very interesting movie with Bava. It was called Equilibrium. This film is amazing and it really took me off guard. If you have a chance, please watch it.

The movie is set in a kind of dystopia and one thing that I noticed about it, whether the director intended it or not, is that they kept saying that in their perfect world war had been stopped.

The interesting thing about this is that according to their argument, the only way to stop war was the complete erradication of human emotion. In order for there to be no more war, there first had to be no more anger, pain, or fear.

While I agree with this on one hand, I think that war is the innevitable outcome of oppression and tyranny. Without war there can be no salvation of the masses. Human emotion is necessary and we will always have emotional reactions to events in our lives.

On the one hand, it is correct to say that our emotions, when not tempered by logic, are not the best things to act on, but on the other, without our emotions, what is left to make us human.

So, is it better to have all war erradicated and all humans completely Vulcan and logical, or have strife and suffering, elation and delight with the sacrifice of having people at each others' throats?

I think that MAYBE there is a happy medium, but in all of my reading and thought, I have yet to see one.

Show me a place where both parties can be happy and I'll actually FINISH one of these boxes of Mac and Cheese.

Enjoy your night citizens.

--THEINTERNETISNOWBROKEN--

Jazz Up That Lifestyle With CHEESE!

2005-11-10T10:15:00.000-08:00

Have you ever read anything that made you just want to curl up into a tiny ball and cry until death arrives at your door just to tell you that he's booked solid and can you wait one more week?

I have. It happened today when I read this.

I don't really like to swear on my blog because I know that sometimes my parents or the infirm might read it, but seriously. WTF kansas?

Conversation this morning was topical:

Ahniwa: dude, fucking Kansas ...
Theo: yeah
they're going to hell
Ahniwa: i think they're actually working harder in just flat-out replacing hell
Theo: with...?
Ahniwa: kansas

So, in rememberance of this gawd awful neo dark age that the midwest is sinking into I would like to offer support for our friends in Pennysylvania. They voted out 9 of the schoolboard members who support intelligent design.

Now, I'm not against Intelligent Design in theory, but but trying to teach it in SCIENCE class is the height of ignorance. It takes logic in a strangle-hold, rubs salt in its eyes, kicks it hard and then steals its lunch money. The cool kids just ignore intelligent design. It's headed for a life of hard drugs and crime. Seriously.

So, in honor of Pennsylvania kicking the habit, welcome to, "Pensylvania RAWKS Thursday!"

I need a t-shirt that says, "Anti-Intellligent Design-ist"

Don't know where it is? Now you do!

Zoohah! PA is a state that is fully endorsed by Mr. Potatohead! YAY!

Into water rafting? AMY? PA's GOT IT!

Think Cnanannanaaaddddaaa gooses are the awesomest? PA's the place!

Going to PA and need a car? Problem...SOLVED!

Want some PA wine? Drink your heart the hell out!

So there you have it. Pensylvania RAWKS Thursday!

oh, and some of my beautiful sketchings are up on the comic page today. Enjoy the fleeting beauty of my art.

--IBEJAMMIN'TODAVEBRUBECK!--

WAHOOOOOZAH!

2005-11-09T14:01:00.000-08:00

So the template re-design went relatively well...if it did take 6.7 man hours and two twenty-something guys to complete...(Thanks bava).

When you google, '"lungs hurt" +"when I cough"', my page is at the bottom of the results. Who knew?! haha

The last few days have been going pretty well.

On Friday I stayed up all night drawing. I played pool until about nine, went home, started watching Six Feet Under (season 1), and started drawing. I sketched, blue penciled and inked three strips in one 7 hour period. That's the most prolific I've been yet. 'course by 7:30am on Sat. morning I was sleep deprived beyond all reasonable reason, but it was ALMOST worth it.

Saturday was fun. I hung out with bava, played some pool and drew some more. I ended up going to bed at a much more reasonable hour.

On Sunday...I can't really remember what I did on Sunday and Monday...

Yesterday I watched Born Into Brothels. Good movie, if a bit depressing. I love photography (which is why you should check out JCMH) and since the film was all about a group of 10 year olds who photograph the brothels in India, I enjoyed it.

Other than that it's been a slow week. Work is ramping up towards Taste of Culture (a cultural food festival that my division sponsors) and everyone is stressing out. YAY!

Well, it's time for the fun.

Welcome to "Couldn't Look Less Like a Drug-Dealer Wednesday!" (CLLLDD)

I don't know what day you were born on, so whisper it softly to the computer monitor.

третье в сентябре? good lord, your monitor speaks Russian?! Cool!

This kid definately deals drugs.

Here are some eggplant jack-o-lanterns. For those of us who can only afford...eggplant...

I didn't know this, but there is such a thing as a Mouse Spider. I hate regular mice and regular spiders, so this is something straight out of hell for me.

Can't wake up on time for Thanksgiving? Here's the ONLY solution!

You can get this on a t-shirt.

G'night Nicoragua!

--IFYOUWEREANAESTHETEYOU'DTELLME,RIGHT?--

I burn with righteous rage and transfer that rage to the reader!

2005-11-04T13:26:00.000-08:00

Currently reading: MY COMIC!

Currently Listening To: Spice Girls

Yeah, yesterday I was all like, "Bahhuh..." and didn't update. Sorry.

Now, for all you science geeks, it's ELECTROLYTE FRIDAY!! RAWK!!

And now for, SomEthinG I REALLY hate! GRRRR! When I was at Fred Meyer getting lunch today, something happened that drives me insane. I handed over my cash and the girl behind the counter put it in the register. She pulls out the coinage for my change and then asks if I need a bag, without handing my change to me. I said yes and watch as she bends down, grabs a bag and starts putting my food inside still holding my change!

By the time she gets around to handing my change to me, not only is it warm, it's got this insane kinda sweat/goo on it. WHO WANTS CHANGE WITH SWEAT GOO?! not ME!

I used to make sure that change was the first thing that I would give back to my customers when I worked at the video store. For me it's a respect thing. Don't give me your sweaty hand goo and I won't hit you in the face and run away. That's simple, right?

Anyway, it's been a day full of stuff like that.

I'm trying to put the finishing touches on the first ever edition of the newsletter that will hit the host families next week. It's really slow going because every time I finally finish typing a paragraph it seems like I just make it worse and I end up trying to re-write the whole damn thing.

*sigh*

oh well, at least I've got my coffee...oh, wait, that's right, I didn't get coffee this morning. Fuck.

Do any of you remember the 50s? Neither do I, and that makes me sad.

Here's a picture of a parcel of land. I hope you enjoy it.

Have you ever thought about the color of orange soda? I have. I stay awake late at night trying to figure out how the hell they make it look that radioactive.

ADD? Yes, please.

I love google. This blog exists because of google. All of the pictures you see are found because of google. And I wouldn't be surprised if google wasn't directly involved in the remodel of paradise after it burned.

I mention it because I know people are curious where I find my links. Let me tell you. But it's a secret, so you'll have to read closely.

Eu vou a IMAGES.GOOGLE.COM e eu faço uma busca para algo como o "Turnip" então que eu encontro o google o mais interessante do retrato tenho que oferecer. Eu estalo sobre a ligação e então ligação na imagem cheia do 'see full-size image' no alto de modo que eu não tenha que preocupar sobre você os guys que têm que se incomodar com seu Web page.

There. That's how I do it. In Portugese.

Since there's a Basal Nervous System, why shouldn't there be a Basel Garage?

Now presenting you with, Figure 2. The word "Figure" means 'picture that will illustrate why what I said is correct...or it's just a mongoose' in Sciencese.

Mom's a scientist, I'm not. I draw comics and 'hang'. At least I think that's what the kids are calling it these days.

For all you fans of the Yellow Warbler, I found one. Here's the best way to fillet a flounder.

This has nothing to do with fish.

This man's name was Eaton. What's yours?

Really, I'm just covering because nothing is going on right now. Seriously, my life is that boring right now. Except that it's not. Daneero has a great line in HEAT that goes a little something like this:

I am alone. I wouldn't say I'm lonely.

I love that quote because that's me and boredome:

I'm a boar. I wouldn't say that I'm board.

So, how's ELECTROLYTE Friday treatin' ya? Happy?

That's about it. I need to finish this damn newsletter before someone gets hurt.

This weekend I'll be drawing non-stop. I have Monday's strip to do, a guest comic for Trunks and Soto, a comic for Secret Crocodile Adventure Club
, and a cookie jar to replace that damn Paypal image on the comic. That's a lot of stuff. oh, AND i'm planning on doing a Cat With Champagne strip for Sunday. GUHAH!

That is all.

--WOULDYOUMINDSITTINGHEREFORMEWHILEIGOPLAY--

IT WAS THE ITALIANS!

2005-11-02T10:16:00.000-08:00

There really is nothing like a wednesday.

This is what one of my favorite childhood books, Penrod, by Booth Tarkington, has to say about Wednesdays:

It was usually upon Wednesday that his sufferings culminated; the nervous strength accumulated during the holiday hours at the end of the week would carry him through Monday and Tuesday; but by Wednesday it seemed ultimately proven that the next Saturday actually never was coming, "this time", and the strained spirit gave way.

I've never really gotten the hang of Wednesdays. They always seem too long, too important, too prissy, too...bleh.

Here's a serene picture for you. By the way, it's Bovine Wednesday. Happy COW day.

I need my car to be 'pimped', but I myself do not want to be a 'pimp'. I seriously wonder how that word became part of our everyday lexicon. Seriously. I was at THE PARTY STORE
*dance music plays in background*
and there was a mom getting a cane with a diamond on the top and she was telling her 7-10 year old son that he was going as a pimp. She was thought it was hilarious and her son was like, "COOL!"

now, I don't know if he knows what a pimp is, he probably just thinks that it's a guy with a girlfriend, but the truth of the matter is that even if he has an inkling it's one of two options: a) a man who bosses around a woman or b) a man who has a lot of money and spends it on luxury items.

I find this amusing because on the one hand, we want to elimate the aspects of society that lead to prostitution and therefore 'pimpery', but on the other, it's become incredibly popular to have a 'pimped out' car or be a 'pimp' in the sense of having more than one girl hanging on your arm. That second definition bothers me because it isn't quite accurate. It obfuscates the true meaning of the word.

This leads me to my overall point: The English language is dumbing itself down to the point that we will eventually have only one word at our disposal when we leave the halls of academia. That word is: 'Pimp'.

It will be a no-ve-adj-pred and will mean...everything. Mark my words langui-philes, it's coming.

As for the word 'Pimp', I think that the 'blinging' version of the word should be changed to 'tsar', as in: I'm gonna tsar out my car, y0! and in the other sense (multiple girlfriends) it's should be Sultan (as in, sultans have harems...). "Dude's got like 8 ladies, he's a total sultan, y0!"

If you're gonna use English, have fun. And remember, Jesus doesn't care if you swear. Dude spoke Hebrew for cryin' out lound. And God...he's probly still speakin' Aramaic. l4m3!

Anyway, Hope your wednesday is going well. Keep up the good work.

--ENJOYCOLDANDEXTREMELYHOT--

Facial Make-up of the Chinese Pekin Opera

2005-11-01T15:04:00.000-08:00

There is a mystery here somewhere, I know it. It feels like a myster-solving day. A day full of juicy mysteriosity. A day that is best spent using a magnifying glass to...magnify things.

Look, if you're gonna keep reading this post, I'm gonna have to verify your identity. Get up really close to the scree in front of you and wait for 10 seconds.

Ok, good.

Yup, you're you. Thanks.

Anyway, there really isn't that much to say today. I'll be working on Friday's comic tonight and will heave a sigh of relief when that's over.

I got my new business cards. I kinda like 'em, but honestly I'm a big fan of minimalism when it comes to business cards. I like plain ones with professional looking fonts. These are monstrously red on one end, white on the other, have the name of the university REALLY HUGE in the middle of the red, it's crazy. They're not bad though.

Here is the link for MANIACLE Tuesday. Ever felt like that? I have. Do. Whatever.

It's amazing how much advertising is available on the web and people don't even realize it. Bava's been going nuts with the comic site lately and we're getting a fair number of hits each day. I think it's been capping out around 23, but that's not bad. We're maintaining an average of about 18 hits a day. It's not bad. Bava's a madman.

If you don't know about Pokey the Penguin, Enjoy the randomness. This is seriously one of my favorite web sites ever. I've been reading Pokey since high school. The guy doesn't update on a regular basis, but it's still great.

This is an insane picture of what looks to be stupidity in action. My guess is that it's followed by ass-slapping and beer. If you didn't click the link before, I'm sure you're doing it now.

I don't know if I should be linking to it, but this may be helpful.

Speaking of Mystery Tuesday, think you can help?

Now ponder this, and I'll talk atcha tomorrow!

--IT'SSTILLNOTASBIGASMINEIS--

Days of the week in reverse random order

2005-10-31T11:30:00.000-08:00

The lastest installment of "Things I saw written on the bathroom wall in a Catholic University":

"Everything's legal if no one knows you're doing it"

How true, how true. Sounds like the punchline to a comic strip...

--SUNDAYMONDAYSUNDAYBYU2--

It's Good to know there is a Concurrence

2005-10-31T09:58:00.000-08:00

If I ever have the opportunity, and by opportunity I mean money, I will buy one of these. Seriously. To my knowledge those things the most beautiful objects man can posess. Woman too for that matter...if said woman happened to be an artist, like the man is. Well...ok, that's just an assumption on my part, that the man is an artist. So let's go with this: It's the best thing that anyone can posess. If I had any more teeth to lose I'd hide one under my pillow and ask for one of these tablets.

Monday's starting off pretty well. I'm drinking coffee steadily and trying not to fall asleep. It was an amazingly long weekend and I'm really not prepared for today. It's pay-day though so THINGS could turn around at any moment.

This weekend i did some sketching, nothing too strenuous. I sketched out a new comic strip for next monday and did some other smaller stuff. Wasn't really in the mood to work on the comic book or do anything for the website. Doesn't help that Bava got the last disk of LOST. That show is wayyy too addictive.

I really can't concentrate right now. At all. I feel kinda like I'm torn between two worlds, neither foot really planted...or that's just my mcdonald's breakfast coming back to haunt me.

Seriously. Read the f'n comic strip I draw. I mean come on...I draw it!

Tim: Hmm...la casa comics...you Spanish?
Ahniwa:no man, I'm Italian. You?
Tim: Dude, I'm f'n Irish. Is Theo?
Ahniwa: Hell no, dude's like English or something.
Tim: Whoah...lame. So what's with La Casa?
Ahniwa: Hell if I know.

Answer here!

Wow! It's Small Toy Figurines Walking Through Elephant Grass Monday! STFWTEGM! ENJOY!

Some substances should be illegal.

Speaking of illegal, I found the crime stats for Coffee County, Georgia. wow. Coffee County.

Better start prayin' now, 'cause the dude has got no mercy.

--IDON'THEARTPANTS--

Last day to withdraw...

2005-10-28T10:22:00.000-07:00

I'm not a shy person. Never really have been. But I play one on tv. And that has made all the difference.

They say that randomality is the new funny. I want YOU to enjoy enchilada Friday!

I was supposed to spend last night drawing. Instead I spent it playing pool and thinking about my time in France. I think there are good and bad ways to spend ones time on this planet. Pool, darts, drawing, and making out are the highest on my list. Thank god they're all free!...except the making out. Unless you're one of the lucky ones *shudder*

So now that it's officially Enchilada Friday, I say we boogie! *dances*

The comic is still going strong. I really wanna spend this weekend working on a decent Sunday strip. I've got a couple ideas I'm working on and they seem to be going ok. Just need some time to work. Thank god the weekend is TWO FULL DAYS! Freakin' A!

As an artist, there are usually a small group of influences one can list off the the top of ones head. Were one so inclined. Anyway, last night I was in bed and picked up my copy of Scud: The Disposable Assassin. Rob Schrab, the creator of this glorious comic is one of my influences.

I read Scud for the first time in high school and loved it. The artwork, the story about a robot who can't kill his target without self-destructing, it captivated me.

The next influence is Calvin and Hobbes. I started reading this way back in the day, don't remember exactly when, but both the artwork and the story-telling ability hooked me in from the beginning.

The next inlfuence a little bit more obscure. A friend in college, a fellow artist, lent me his copy of a comic book called 'Crimson'. The style of art was something I had never seen before. It was a bizarre cross between manga and the classic american comic book. The author is a guy name Humberto Ramos. He started out doing Spiderman and then got a contract with Image comics to do some of his own stories. My favorite is 'Crimson' but a close second is his series, 'Out There'. If you have access to a comic book store, go find these books. They are very good.

These influences are the way i would LIKE to draw. My artistic style is still developing and I'm constantly trying new things, but these are the guys who got me into comics in the first place. God bless you guys.

--NOTHEYDIDN'TSNEEZE--

We're gonna need a mop!

2005-10-27T10:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't forgotten about my blog...I've just...been busy. Yeah, that's the ticket!

Drawing has been taking up almost all of my free time. I get home from a long day of hard work and I whip out my drawing pad, put on some tunage, and go nuts.

Been listening to Kanye West, Portishead (classic stuff)(both sites suck, so no links). Good drawing music.

There are some things that I hope to add to the site in the near future. The first is an art gallery. Drawings that I do. I do a lot of small comic drawing, usually with a pencil, that would be really easy to scan. I'm extremely self-conscious of this kind of stuff, but I figure that since I'm producing a web comic anyway, it couldn't hurt.

The next thing is going to be a cookie jar. The cookie jar takes donations. For a $5 donation, you get a beautiful b&w sketch by yours truely. For a $10 donation you get a custom La Casa Comics wallpaper with your favorite character doing something oddly amusing.

The last thing that I am looking to do, probly 'bout december, is start releasing my first full color comic. It'll look like a comic book or maybe like Copper, but it's about a bunny and a robot that are cops. It'll be a side project, don't worry. La Casa will continue on.

on another note: I love that Cheryl Swoopes is happy with being gay, but seriously, does it deserve the cover of the NYtimes?

--COFFEEADDICTSUNITE!--

Fight That Devilish Plaque!

2005-10-24T10:51:00.000-07:00

Superman ain't got nothin' on me. 'cause I'm a rock-star.

I'm back at work. It's exactly as interesting as when I left it. It's kind of a let-down. I was hoping there'd be gun battles, or at the very least an elephant. But there isn't.

I'm taking a half-day.

The comic strip is going really well. I enjoy doing the art. I would like to ramp it up to a daily strip, but I fear the story quality and art would go severely downhill. I'm in the process of doing all the La Casa strips on my computer, but I'm running into problems with my laptop. Nothing serious really, I'm just realizing that trying to run a drawing program with maximized resolution doesn't really work that well on a laptop with only 500mb of ram. I need a new computer. And to quit my job. I wish the comic could pay my salary. I'd love to just do that for work.

We're getting about 14 unique visits to the website each day. I'm really stoked about that! if people are reading on the days we're not updating, I think that when we start going nutso with advertising we might be able to make a fair ammount of money. Won't pay my salary, but whatever. We'll see.

Other than that there really is nothing else going on. I'm really tired right now and I think I'll be laying down for a nap when I get home from work. That's it.

--LOVELYDAYFORATRISCUIT!--

Time Better Spent Sleeping

2005-10-23T03:26:00.000-07:00

yes, I'm still awake.

Anyway, if you haven't read all of Dr. McNinja, do it. NOW.

Paul Bunyan's disease. Hilarious.

--HAVEYOUBEENLUMBERJACKING?!--

Filter THIS!!

2005-10-23T02:31:00.000-07:00

so, it's fuck-early in the morning and I get this email at my school email account. It was in Korean and at first I thought it was from one of my ESL students, but no. It was SPAM. Lordy, was it spam. hehe. check this out. Korean, a la Babelfish:

In hip gout/lumbago/disk shoes hyo one bedspread needle medical therapy In consequence of the fact that the tree toe just at one hip gout/the lumbago/initiation label/bedspread incontinence/frigidity/the hemorrhoids/the leucorrhea cung/physiology,/ Physiological impurity/bed-wetting/constipation/diarrhea/it prevents a large enteritis back thousands branch disease and the sickle there is a possibility The thing, to accept also anatomy knowledge without and be strenuous.

And this continues. Trust me, it gets better.

The bedspread needle researches vertebral elastic curve in dissection of a human body school register and it makes, it talks again, human body engineering With as the tree toe screen which it made it learns the method lower part well and if it writes steadily and the waist bone crosses each other, The possibility of closing the thing only it will be the bay it knows, the possibility catching rightly that the waist bone is already crossing each other, Will be

Whoah...I mean, seriously. WTF?!

Our love it falls poverty and with disease U it lives from the inside which puts The warm sun and it wants in these people. With warm sun inside U the poverty which wanders from the inside which puts and with disease pain the neighborhood where it receives One which invites, when we will not do and there does not have to be a possibility the who doing Will know well. Love the family which falls all it supplicates a health and a peace and it finishes.

That's the end. Sorry.

What I don't understand is this: Isn't spam supposed to be advertising? What is this advertising? First of all, it's sent to an American and it's in Korean. So if I wanted to know what it was about, I would have to translate it. THEN, when translated, it's complete nonsense. What the hell is this advertising? There were no images and no links. I don't get it. F'n Korean spam man.

I'm going to bed because it's early. Ugh.

oh yeah, and I posted a sunday strip. HERE!!!!

--LETTHELIGHTSBLINKALLNIGHT--

Something Positive

2005-10-22T20:19:00.000-07:00

There really is nothing like a good convelescence. I may have misspelled it, but I know this for a fact! Fact that ass up!

Anyway, this weekend is shaping up pretty well. The g/f is out of town and I've been spending most of my time drawing. Of course, I spend most of the time that she's here just drawing and watching movies so I really don't know what the big deal is.

Tonight I'm going out to play pool with my friend Adrian...sorry, no blog, no link.

Other than that, this weekend has been really uneventful. Right now I'm making hot dogs and listening to loud house music, live from Paris. Seriously, there ain't nothin' like a good mix from France. If you understand French. Et moi, je parle fraincais. assez bien, mais quand meme!

I totally changed it up on the comics. I'm now doing them WAAYYY ahead of time and completely on my computer. I've learned the joy of photoshop and as long as I did a sketch before hand so I know the perspectives, I can get a pretty good approximation of my pencil sketch. We'll have to wait and see how that developes.

--LIVELONGANDPROSPER--

Teh job is done

2005-10-20T14:43:00.000-07:00

Well, recovery is going well. If you've been keeping up with the comics you know that I'm still alive and kicking, but this blog sure hasn't seen much asction.

Thanks for the links guys, those were fantastic!

I'm sick of soup. No soup for me. At all.

I've also watched so many movies and tv shows on dvd I think I'm going a bit crazy. I watched the first three disks of LOST, all of Rescue Me, the 5th season of the sopranos and an incredible number of movies. I've been keeping up with the news online.

The drawing has been going really well lately. I've done enough strips to get through the end of October now so it's time for a writing session with Bava. That inludes, beer, pool, and a writing tablet on which to place our enlightening ideas.

Space Holder.

Today, at 4pm, I get the stables out of my abdomen. I'm not happy about that.

--NOTHAPPYBUTSURVIVIN'--

I couldn't fake this if I tried

2005-10-14T13:32:00.000-07:00

Hernia surgery sucks ass. trust me. it's gawd awful in ways that rainbows aren't.

The surgery itself went really well, I went out like a frickin' light when the drugs were in me and then in the recovery room I did pretty well too. Last night though? that's when shit started to hurt.

I'm popping two vicadin every 4 hours and I still can't move from my bed. I've been laying here trying to watch movies since 7am. I can't sleep because I'm wide awake and I can't read because I'm woozy and can't open my eyes. it sucks because I really wanna freakin' draw!

OH well.

geez, time to change the ice pack. I catch you guys later. Any links to cheer me up? post 'em in the comments!

--DON'TDRIVELIKEMYBROTHER--

Not so awesome...and then AWESOME!

2005-10-13T09:31:00.000-07:00

So yeah, at 1:30pm today I go under the knife. Shouldn't be that bad, but if you don't hear from my by Sunday, then...deal with it. I'm probably more doped up than I should be.

Nothing at all happening this morning.

Our comic is up. There'll be a new one on Friday. Because it's M/W/F. More if you give us cookies. The entire comic is fueled by Awesome and Cookies.

--LEARNTOLOVEIT--

Tic vs. Tac

2005-10-12T12:35:00.000-07:00

Coooookies!

So the new comic site is up. Here, here and here.

La Casa has an interesting story behind it and I'll re-tell it now.

Way back in the day, one of my uncles was living in Germany. He came back and found a place to live in California that was COMPLETELY ghetto. It was a two story house that was falling down, was surrounded by a junk yard, a muffler repair place and a parking garage. Some of the doors opened to nothing. It was like a mystery house.

In the back was a makeshift skate park / luau spot and there were beer cans and food wrappers everywhere. Honestly, it was the ultimate bachelor pad.

Someone in the house (he had like 6 roommates at one point) was learning Spanish and so there were little stickers all over the place with the word for what that thing was in Spanish. On the front door was the word, 'La Casa'. And the name stuck.

So when Bava, Wyltbam and I moved into our house together, we turned it into a bachelor's paradise...without the martini bar. I decided that it was worthy of the name La Casa and, since the strip is about us and the house, the comic strip was babtized La Casa Comics.

It's gonna be great, trust me.

In this edition of "Things I saw written on the bathroom wall in a Catholic University!": NIXANWAR.

wtf?

Anyway, I got stuff to do. No more dilly-dallying for me.

--BACKTOTHEGRINDSTONE--

Sockin' it to ya!

2005-10-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling a tad spastic this morning, but in general I'm doing great.

Last night was my last night of swing dancing for a while because of the issue we discussed yesterday. That's gonna be very hard. I had a good time dancing though.

I also managed to complete the transfer process of my comics. They have now transcended to the higher, more awesome, digital realm. Bava is nice enough to build them a realy cool home, which you will get to see very soon.

I really don't have anything else to report.

MESH!

Back later.

--YOMAMASTHEBIGGESTMAMA--

INTERNAL/EXTERNAL PR

2005-10-11T14:18:00.000-07:00

I find it highly amusing that when I don't have any visitors I really want the world to know what I'm doing, but when I get a lot of visitors I don't know, I kinda want annonymity. Crazy.

I've almost finished Tuesday's crossword puzzle. Work is that f'n difficult. That's going to be the nice thing about getting this hernia gone. I go in for surgery on Thursday at 2:30pm and then get to go home later that evening. I get Friday and Monday off and I've optioned Tuesday. I will make sure that doesn't interfere with either my blog updates and/or the comics. If anything it'll make me more productive.

I just went down to the cafeteria. It's amazing the shit people find to bitch about when there's nothing to bitch about. One woman was complaining that the coffee wasn't quite warm enough and a girl was complaining about the selection of cookies. Wow.

My coffee smells like an Expo marker, you don't see me complaining.

I gotta go get stuff done. Postmorelater.

--DON'TYOUWISHUPONASTARDON'TYOUDARE--

In which i discuss very personal matters with relative ease

2005-10-11T10:09:00.000-07:00

So, this morning has actually been eventful...but probly not in the way you're thinking. In fact I can pretty much say it's not for certain.

I went to the doctor this morning. Actually, I went to a surgeon. It was for a bulge on the lower part of my abdomen that was starting to...well, bulge.

I had a physical last week and so I pointed it out to the doc. He looked at it and said, 'yessir, it's a hernia.' Of course I had heard horror stories about intestines dropping down into nether regions and I fell deathly silent. The doctor noticed and reassured me. He said that it mostly happens to older men, but it happens to a large segment of the population.

I went in to see the surgeon this morning and he confirmed everything. I have an Inguinal Hernia. (don't worry, no pics)

So that's why I took the morning off. What's your excuse?

here's a gratuitous picture of a lion. Enjoy Lion Tuesday!

--BADBOYTOTHEMAX--

TACO SAUCE!!!

2005-10-10T14:29:00.000-07:00

I keep forgetting that it's columbus day because I'm at fucking work. I don't understand this holliday for myriad reasons, but whatever.

I think I may have mentioned this before, but our school got so fascinatingly disrupted by the changing political structure that a student or students created an underground newspaper.

On one hand I think that it's great that the voice of democracy is alive and well at a largely catholic school. But on the other, this is really f'n devious. There is a LOT of criticism leveled at new faculty, staff and at everyone's appearance. Attention ladies and gentlemen, the faceless fashionistas have arrived.

To say that my emotions are mixed is an understatement. I have seen ratemyprofessors.com and I believe that if you want to criticise someone on the internet, go for it. But seriously, when it's in print and shoved underneath every door in the school, that goes a little bit too far. The new faculty have only been here 6 weeks and can't even maneuver around campus. To expect perfection is kind of naive. I've taught classes at this school before and living up to the ever-changing standards of the administration is a full-time job. Let alone trying to teach on top of it.

That being said, I think that with a little experience and a LOT more focus, this underground newspaper has potential. Keep it up, but for chissake, do NOT put them EVERYWHERE on campus. It's a waste of paper.

So yeah, happy columbus day.

If I had fantasy world, it would be a magical place. Seriously dude. MAGICAL. Animals would talk to you and all the drinking fountains would pour forth...diet pepsi.

Wait.

I hate pepsi. What the hell. someone hijacked my f'n fantasy world!

Why don't they make a pain-reliever strong enough? They make ones ALMOST strong enough, something that just kinda takes the edge off, but none of them really DO the trick for you. I was lifting all this heavy shit and my name brand pain-reliever dropped his end of the piano. I'm telling you, THAT f'n sucked. Three flights of stairs, straight the fuck down. No more piano.

I'm tired and filthy. This blogging shit is heavy and deep. I'm gonna go rinse off and take a nap.

--PLEASEDONOTASSASSINATEME--

In Which I SUCCEED!!!

2005-10-10T11:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm pleased as punch with myself. I just finished the NYtimes crossword puzzled. Talk about time well spent.

Greatest quote from NPR during their, "GIVE US MONEY YOU BITCHES!" drive, "It's like...an addiction. You gotta feed it. Wouldn't you rather spend your money on us than drugs?" Yes, that's an actual quote.

So far nothing has happened today and I'm really not gonna be surprised if nothing happens this afternoon either. It's slow. What can I say. And this fund drive on npr is driving me crazy! That one quote was hilarious, but I doubt I'll hear anythign like that again. I think it's time to change radio stations. For a week.

--PROVERBIALSUBMITTER--

In Which I Lay Down And Take A Nap

2005-10-10T08:15:00.000-07:00

This is a scary ass way to start a monday. Good morning!

Overall it was a pretty good weekend. Friday night there was a swing dance performance at Arts Walk and that was fun. It was the first performance in front of people I've ever done and I had a really good time. Then I got kinda loopy drunk.

Saturday I spent watching movies with the g/f. Saw Amityville Horror, and some other movies I can't remember. Must've been great.

Sunday I started drawing again. I inked two strips last night! I'm stoked. My drawing style is going to change pretty quick after the first couple are posted. Oh, and I'll have the new comic link up before too long. It's going to be a M/W/F comic with something goofy on the weekend that'll be just for fun.

I warn you, it's gonna be ghetto when it first starts. Bava's designing the website and we're using blogger...because we're broke ass white boys from suburbia. But if you stick with the strip I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised by my amazing fantastical drawings combined with Bava's razor-like wit. It'll rock, you'll see.

Anyway, I've got stuff to do this morning. I'll post again this afternoon.

--ROOMDEPOSITISREFUNDABLE--

In which I take Excedrin

2005-10-07T08:46:00.000-07:00

Whenever you think your life is messed up and you're feeling depressed, deal with it. Then read this article of kids choking themselves to death. FOR FUN.

What really astounds me about these articles is that the parents are always shocked. "We never saw it coming! I didn't see the signs!" But this is what you get when parents let CHILDREN have virtual autonomy while growing up. If you aren't completely involved in your child's life, you have no right to complain about what they do when they're not around you.

My parents didn't rule me with an iron thumb, but my mom definately knew where I was and what I was doing at all times. It's just kinda how she did things. At the time I thought she was an oppressive dictator, but now I really appreciate her style of parenting.

Another thing in the article that I just noticed was that quote:

Children have likely been playing the "choking game" for a long time, Connecticut-based child psychologist Dr. Lawrence Shapiro told The Associated Press.

Wait. What? No WAY! <--sarcasm

The kid gets it right when he says:

"What's the big deal? I'm not taking any drugs; I'm not drinking or anything."

That really is the way kids think. Especially at 13-14. It'd be good to keep in mind how old these kids are. Has anyone else seen the movie "thirteen"? It's really good. It doesn't have anything to do with the choking game, but it does have an interesting perspective on that age bracket.

--REDEMPTIONVALUE--

In Which I Battle A Monkey

2005-10-06T14:00:00.000-07:00

There is no recovering from this kind of thing.

So yeah, the dinner last night was...curious. It was hosted by the president of the university and all I can say about it is that I had lots of free wine. Chianti Classico. Good stuff.

And now I'm drinking coffee. Second cup of the day.

My back hurts. I've been sleeping very poorly at night and though I get about 7 hours of sleep, I've managed to sleep on my right shoulder enough that the tension between my shoulder and neck is getting out of control. I can't afford a massage right now though. That sucks.

Over the last couple days I've been having this bizarre conversation about men staring at women's breasts. It started because I saw this chick in the mall with a this shirt. I commented on it to a friend and she said that it is, in fact, a serious problem. There are men in her office that don't even know she has a face.

I mentioned this to the g/f and she said that it's not unwelcome unless you're wearing something that says, "Don't look at my breasts!"...like a turtleneck sweater. At that point I laughed.

I'm a big fan of the turtleneck sweater and sometimes they can be sexier than a revealing shirt. They show off all the breasts, without the sluttiness! It's great! The g/f was appalled. You mean men are still captivated by the boobies? Yes, yes we are. There is no escape.

But, in exchange, you can stare at my crotch all you want. It's ok. I'm willing to make that saccrifice. She didn't think it was fair.

The more I think about this the more interesting the topic becomes though. Girls realize that men can't keep their eyes off of their breasts if they are in the lest bit exposed, so why would they keep wearing shirts that reveal so much...then bitch about it? My theory is that it's an attention getting device, like complaining about being in your 30s. Being in your thirties is, for some, like finding out you have terminal cancer. You're THAT much closer to doom.

I, for one, revel in the fact that I'm growing older. I'm happy that some day I'll be able to pull off the Sean Connery look and/or sit on the porch of my house reading a thick book and smoking a pipe. I just wish there was something I could do for the ladies, in exchange for not being able to control my eyes. For example, if I knew for certain that girls looked at my crotch, then I'd totally start jamming socks, baseballs, and small cars down my pants. I think that's akin to a push-up bra, right?

Hey, I'm just trying to give back what I take. That's only fair.

Discuss.

--GIVINGBACKISWHATIDO--

Lame

2005-10-06T12:44:00.000-07:00

I think I owe you guys an apology for yesterday. I think I was rather harsh and I blatantly ripped off comedian Dane Cook. For all of this, and more, I apologize.

I'm not really that interesting today. I haven't really done anything yet. If anything happens, I'll update again.

--THANKYOUFORYOURPATIENCE--

In Which I Retell That One Story

2005-10-05T15:39:00.000-07:00

So how ya'll doin? Absinthe Wednesday treatin' ya well? Haha! I don't care!

This is how things are gonna go down. I'm gonna take you out, we'll get hammered, make sweet sweety bloggy love and it'll be good. Then, for no reason whatsoever, I'm not gonna call anymore. Then, through the grapevine, you'll hear that I'm dating a much younger, sexier blogosphere. About a year later I'll call you in the middle of the night, drunk and sobbing, saying that you were the best blogosphere ever. Then we'll grab some paraphenalia, hit the town, start some fires, turn over some cars and break shit. You'll turn to me and say, "Iffy, you're a fuckin' riot!" I'll raise my eyebrows and say, "No, YOU'RE a fuckin' riot!"

I need a gang. I had a crew, once, but that crew disbersed. I needed to upgrade anyway. So I need a gang. Wanna be part of my gang?

I don't know anything about New Wave Theatre in Richmond, Virginia and how it was created to dispell common myths about contraception and IV drug use. Maybe it's research time.

There are a few things I wish to clear up here. First, my blog is not the right place to judge others. Only I can do that, here. Second, only use a #2 pencil when writing comments. If you do not, your comment cannot be viewed by those less fortunate, and this blog is for everybody. Third, do not think that because you read my blog I care about you. I am a severely insensitive person with no thought in my head for your feelings and not so benign attachement issues so the more you read my blog the less I care.

I am determined to become a shadowy, less articulate gangster version of myself. I am on the right track to becoming the stunning conclusion of me, but dude, this is taking forever!

I really want to write a movie script but I lack the drive, the will and the skillz. You need all three. I'm f'd right out of the starting gate.

Starting tomorrow I will have the national and local editions of my blog. Look for the new IFFY AT BEST blog, localized, specialized and totally irrelivent to you in revolutionary new ways. I AM cutting edge.

I really feel under-appreciated. Not really for what I do, but for what I have to offer. Bava and I were talking about this today. He wants to become some kind of general information gathering specialist. GIGS. I think I want to do the same kind of thing but really just have it be about culture in general. But I'm a total spaz so I doubt I'l muster the fortitude to pull it off.

Tonight I'm heading down to play some darts and attend a dinner where I'll drink for f'n free. That's right. I said free. Wanna know how you can get invited to this little shindig? It ain't gonna happen. I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't really want you there anyway. You're funny, but I'm just not in the mood.

--ASPOONFULLOFCOCAIN--

It's not Rocket's Science!

2005-10-05T09:39:00.000-07:00

Someone called me yesterday and mentioned something that seemed very important at the time. I hope it was only important then because I can't remember what the hell we talked about.

So the last couple days have been...meh. Sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was a tad busy. Won't happen again.

I've got a question for you. How many of you wonder where people who do porn come from? I'm not talking about porn stars per se, those people were pretty much born into the business. I'm talking about the third or fourth tier people in porn, the ones who have their own galleries online and a web cam. Who did they go to high school with? Have you ever googled someone and had their 'ALL NUDE ALL DAY ALL NIGHT!' gallery come up? I haven't. But I figure it's just a matter of time.

I saw Hotel Rwanda last night. It kinda f'd me up. I really didn't know how to deal with all the imagery and the killing. It's very realistic and Don Cheadle does a GREAT job.

I'm having a danish for breakfast. Are you Danish?

So yeah, if you wanna know more about drug trafficking, check here.

She doesn't smoke cigarettes. Do you?! You do? oh...Can I bum one?

considering that it's Mircat Wednesday, here's a Mircat.

Remember to say, "HELL NO!" to drugs, boys and girls.

Be extremely thankful you're not in this band.

Now, have a FANTASTIC Wednesday, and I'll chat you up later.

--IDONOTKNOWHOWTOFIXACARENGINE--

65% Water, Baby!!

2005-10-03T09:47:00.000-07:00

What a great morning to be human, eh?

This weekend I most definately did not get my weekend on. Trust me. I was in Cannaaannananaada. Victoria to be exact. It's a beautiful city, I know that, but when you're there on business and not pleasure, it takes on this sheen of enui that permeates the very meat on one's bones. Trust me.

So on Saturday morning I woke up at 5am and went out to the Park-n-Ride by The Place. A small group of us carpooled up to Port Angeles, then took the ferry across to Victoria. We were put up in a hotel by Rotary so we walked to the hotel and checked in to our rooms. I really didn't have anything to put in the room so I just went back down to the lobby to wait for everyone else.

I pulled my biography of Chairman Mao out of my bag and started to read. Have you ever been trying to read in a room where someone is talking about something funny and/or interesting and though you're not supposed to pay attention, you just can't help it? That's what happened to me.

A canadian couple on the other couch in the lobby were talking about dancing. They were using a vocabulary I didn't really understand but the hotel manager definately did. From across the room he yelled, "You guys polka, eh?" The couple said why, yes, they did, and there was a flurry of conversation. Apparently there was a massive polka dance in Victoria last weekend and during the conversation I was trying not to listen to, I learned that American polka is slightly different than Canadian polka. Don't know the how or why, but it is.

When that flurry of converstaion was over, the couple started to truly examine the flowers on the coffee table between me and them. Out of the corner of my eye I kept seeing that both members of the couple kept looking up at me in a really friendly way. I couldn't tell what the hell was going on so I raised my book as kind of a 'fuck off' gesture. The couple kept talking about the flower. Was it fake? Was it real? If it was real, it sure felt fake. But if it was fake, boy did it look real! The poor flower had dry bits falling off of it. The couple talked about it as if it was a matter of national importance, but they never actually argued.

Finally, it was decided that it was real and it needed water, for it had none at all. They hailed the manager and had him call a maid down from upstairs to, "water the poor plant, eh!"

That was Saturday.

On Sunday I noticed something interesting that I pointed out to our Canadian friends (or, as I like to call them, 'Those who now despise my very existence'). In the middle of one of THEIR stories they'll give you a fact such as, "The car was red!" but then, they'll add "right?" at the end so it sounds like:

"The car was red, right?"

The only response I could come up with was, "I don't fucking know! It's YOUR story!

They didn't like that I pointed that out.

I talked way too much this weekend.

But now I'm back. In town and in shape. I need to play pool though. My life lacked too much pool this weekend.

I'll post more later when I'm feeling cantankerous.

--PAINFULOMENSAREOMINOUS--

Wait, was that you?

2005-09-30T14:21:00.000-07:00

If you're having trouble reading my blog, hold down the shift key, take the mouse all the way down to the bottom of the screen and hover it over the time until the date pops up. Hit a number 7, either one. Type the word COFFEE (in all caps). Turn around twice in your chair, while still holding down shift. Now what do you see? If that doesn't work, turn off your computer and go home. It's friday dude.

Wanna know the funniest thing I've seen today was? Of course you do. It was a six foot Russian making out with a three foot Japanese girl. Spark.

I wasn't going to do this, but since it's Wolverine Friday, here's a cool pic. There are no words to describe the embarassment I feel over this. Seriously people, come on. Someone needs to take this one down and or domesticate 'im. It'll be for his own good.

My monitor has started buggin'. Will anything happen about this? Probably not. They won't replace it until it completely breaks and that could be a long way and an eye surgery away. I'll keep you updated on all the details.

This is the aerosols over Canndaadda picture taken by nasa on Aug. 10, 1998.

I'm at a comlete loss for words.

Need a self-awareness tree? Problem solved.

This weekend I'm heading up to Victoria, Canada to have fun with a bunch of people I don't really know that well. If you get your leg bitten off by an alligator, let me know. Otherwise I'll get back to you Sunday night or Monday morning.

--ROCK!--

Lasting longing

2005-09-30T09:21:00.000-07:00

It's "God Bless Science Friday", Bitches!

First off, National Geographic shows gorillas using tools. For those of you caught woefully underprepared for this so early on a Friday morning, this means that eventualy gorillas will be developing nukes and we will all be completely fucked. Repeal the endangered species act now. It only promotes terrorism.

More later, when I don't have a doctor's appointment.

--EVOLVETHIS--

Supa dupa flie

2005-09-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

Starbucks is the best and worst possible place to be at 7:30am.

Let me fill you in. The Starbucks I frequent is on the way to work and for me it is a place filled with wonderful delights, but mostly coffee. The one glitch in my morning is one individual barista. Now, I'm not trying to get this guy fired, god forbid, but I am trying to tell a funny story. To say this kid is a 'morning person' is an amazing understatement. He attacks customers with vicious language that should be saved for later in the day. "GOOD MORNING SIR!!" BEAUTIFUL DAY, ISN'T IT!" "DO YOU WANT A SCONE WITH THAT?!"

A coffee shop in the morning isn't the right place to assault me with conversation, hot lovin', or choices. All I want is my coffee. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. The other baristas don't seem to have a friggin' problem with this, what's his deal?! He's too damn happy. Has anyone seen "13 Conversations About one Thing?" If you haven't seen it, I highly reccomend it, and when you do you'll understand why I'm not wishing bad things to happen to this, most annoying of baristas. I just want him to pipe the F. down.

That's the barista story. It's not quite as good as I thought it was gonna be. Anyway.

Another thing I noticed this morning at the coffee shop were two fat people. I'm not talking, "I'm a bit overweight!" fat, I'm talking out of f'n control, "MY GOD! I'm turning into a truck!" fat. I didn't think badly of them, necessarily, I just had to ask myself, "What would have to go wrong in my life for me to get that big?" The answer is, everything. And then some.

Some kids are a bit bigger than others, but it's been proven that with exercise, the weight of human spawn can be controlled. Surprise surprise. I have to admit, I've never been 'overweight', and I'm definately not bulky, but when I do start to put on the poundage, out come the sit-ups and push-ups every morning. Were these people just poorly trained youngsters?

Maybe I'm just being insensitive, but whenever I see people that incredibly large, I feel like going up and asking them how it happened. Did it happen overnight, or do you have to work at cultivating that kind of bulk? Is it hereditary? Did your mom look like she swallowed a bus?

I have a feeling that I wouldn't like the answers and my coffee shop wouldn't invite me back anymore, but seriously, those are questions that float through my mind. Bastard? Yes please. With whip.

--SOCKINITTOYA--

Refer to #1 Under Attention

2005-09-29T11:28:00.000-07:00

It takes more coffee to keep me going strong all morning long than it would take to fuel a small army.

Speaking of armies, congratulations to Justice Roberts! You rock, dude!

Speaking of Rocking, I suck. As a friend. I don't have my shit together enough to call people back. Across the board.

Speaking of boards, I got nothin.

Well, it's raining. Finally. I was beginning to wonder what the hell was up. It hasn't rained in a good long time and honestly, I was starting to miss it. T'was funny though, all the drapes in my house were closed when I woke up so I went into the kitchen to make some breakfast, flipped the radio to NPR, listened to the weather report and the lady's all like, "It's raining motherfucker!" and I was all like, "No way, biatch!" Then I checked. She was right.

Being that this is my blog and I'm an egomaniacle bastard, my self-congratulatory quote of the day is: "I found a law office in Tennessee."

I finally started using my day planner. I cleaned out the trunk of my car two days ago, loaded everything into large plastic trash bags, and in the process I found my day planner.

Other things I found in my trunk:

6 guns
1 pair shoes (dancing)
12 empty cups of coffee
4 wrappers for Jackin' the Box
1 drawing board
2 tablets of blank paper
1 favorite pencil
4 pairs of socks (dirty)
1 invitation to a retirement dinner
1 course catalog for University of Alabama
1 empty trash bag
2 sweaters
2 jackets
1 printer
1 computer monitor
1 ethernet hub
1 your mom

My trunk is as big as a small universe.

Anyway, I found my day planner so now my life is soo much more organized. I'm takin' care of business, like the guys on the radio commercial. But I'm not a corporate stooge.

--TRAVELINGEMERGENCYSERVICES--

P.H.I.E.!

2005-09-28T13:00:00.000-07:00

Penguins have it easy!

This is an awesome article about that film March of the Penguins and the religious right.

My favorite quote:

Secularists point out that emperor penguins have a freewheeling sexual life and that homosexuality among penguin species is quite common.

"These penguins get around. They switch mates with each new mating season, which makes for some pretty slutty birds -- and change the operative question from 'What Would Jesus Do?' to 'Who Would Jesus Do?'"

haha!

--TODAYUSHERSINANEWDAY--

Overheard #657

2005-09-28T10:30:00.000-07:00

"Some men just need a good slap sometimes."

Whoah. What? Equal opportunity? Why can't I say sh*t like this at work? or, hell, in private?! Double-standard? you bet.

It's not that I dissagree, some men should be given a dose of their own medicine. I simply think that it's true for both genders and getting all self-riteous when guys say it and condoning sayings like this by women is hurtful. This is a perfect example of why equality doesn't work. There are some ways that men and women just are different and if we can figure out a way to celebrate those differences instead of minimizing them, then we'll all be better off.

So I want to institute a plan where everyone gets slapped at least twice a day. I think that many problems would be solved if everyone were just slapped across the face by sombody who loves them. Then we can all go to therapy, learn that what we need to do is love ourselves and we all get happy.

Or get hooked on crack.

Rambly enough for you?

--THATWASF'NFAST--

The Way I See It # 2045

2005-09-28T10:17:00.000-07:00

I'm seriously getting more and more worried about the state of affairs in the US.

Why? read this.

I see a very fine line between intelligent design and what Stephen Hawking have to say about God. The difference, for me, lies in the message conveyed. Intelligent design says that there is no randomness in the universe, that God bends life to 'his' will. Hawking uses the word God in a much more abstract sense to describe the miracle of the world in general, not as an explanation for it.

All I can see from intelligent design is hubris. The idea that humans can encapsulate life and all of its developments along the way in a single concept. I see more beauty in the randomness of the universe than if it happened to be controlled by an outside influence.

*sigh*

The trial just pisses me off. Funny how Christians get all self-riteous when they feel they're losing. And they are losing. The theory of intelligent design may be over a century old, but it's serious ground lost for creationists world-wide. Intelligent design is seriously a creationist version of evolution; evolution fostered by god. That's a serious step up from the "world was created in 6 days" shit.

So yeah. More later when I get pissed off about soemthing else.

--DECAFDOUBLESHOTDOUBLEPUMPMOCHA--

Somebody Lied...

2005-09-27T14:58:00.000-07:00

Today was aiiight. Is. Whatever. It's not over yet so I really shouldn't be using the past tense.

Two students needed to be dropped off at the airport this morning so that's what I did. 10:30am I was off and running and I just got back. It's 3pm. Ridiculous.

Anyway, last night Bava and I went down to the Eastside and played some pool. He roundly kicked my ass and held the table pretty much all night. Good job. And fun was had by all. Then I borrowed season 4 of Smallville. I really never imagined I could be so turned on by television. Wow.

Ever wanted to know how to draw a stork? Well now you can.

So I'm standing in line with the japanese students at the n0rthwest counter at the airport and as we get closer and closer to the front of the line, I start to notice a trend. The service people behind the counter get more pissed off at the Asians who ask for help before they do something wrong than the Americans who basically break the machines and THEN ask for help. I found and currently find this ridiculous.

I watched as a woman tried to insert her passport into the slot where things are only supposed to come out. Essentially anally-raping the machine with her passport. Then she started yelling at it. It turned out that instead of inserting then removing (like the sign says) her frequent flyer card, she had inserted it and left it in. The machine had no clue what was happening and just kinda froze, waiting for her to take the damn piece of plastic out of the slot. The woman couldn't quite grasp the predicament and that's when the ass-raping of the machine began.

The woman behind the n0rthwest counter only arrived when the customer started breaking down into fitful sobs accentuated by profanity. I was shocked it wasn't the machine sobbing. With a motherly smile and the benevolent demeanor or a proctologist, the n0rthwest woman reached around, removed the card, the machine decided to work, and the customer thanked her over and over and over again. Again, it should have been the machine. With a flourish of the hand the customer service woman was on to help my two guys.

Hopefull that we would get the same or at least similar treatment, I smiled at the woman. She glared at me and my heart sank. The first student swiped his passport. It worked. The machine generated what is the service version of a smiley face: "Processing..."

It didn't ask him how many bags he had, it didn't say anything about anything. It just spat out his boarding pass and receipt. I kinda looked up and the n0rthwest woman looked directly at me with an unflinching glare. The kind of glare one reserves for wildebeasts who have become upity.

I kindly explained to the woman what happened and all she said was, "You didn't do it right, do it again." So I did it again. And again. And again.

Finally I got fed up with this and with a loud sigh, as if I was the pain in the ass there today, she snatched the passport out of my hand, asked for the other one, I gave it to her, and she did everything in 10 seconds.

I would reccount the security story, but I'm affraid that I'd never make it through a checkpoint again.

More later. If I feel like it.

--ENHANCINGYOURIDEAOFLOVESINCE1980--

c0ff33 for the l337

2005-09-26T15:06:00.000-07:00

200 posts in one day! Damn dude!!

I finally got the Wall Street Journal correctly delivered to my house this morning. The problem is that it's put into my mailbox. My mailbox is small. So small that the junk mail was kinda stuffed in the top. Reasons: a) The Mail-person is stupid b) the Mail-person is lazy. Or both.

I don't read either the NYTimes that I get free at work or the WSJ I get at home. But I picke them up and take them to work. My recycle is full. It's crazy.

The worst part of my job thus far is having to tell people that their interviews sucked so much that they won't be getting a job here. It's not that bad because, really, I've always wanted to be able to do that. The problem is that these are kids who are just looking for experience. It's a work study position and the only reason we selected the kids we did is that they were more professional. We may end up making some of 'em quit anyway due to the intensity of the positions we offered. We'll see though. I have faith.

I'm sorry about the pics I posted. Blogger hates me and my photos. I'll figure it out soon though and get those posted. Maybe I'll get a flickr account. We'll see.

It's funny that the highlight of my day is hanging out with Bava and bitching about work. Bastard just watched Season 4 of Smallville without me. I need to borrow that and watch it myself or I fear I will no longer catch his references. When you miss a season of Smallville it's like living on a lesser plane of reality. (If you have a slow connection, don't even bother clicking on the smallville site. The WB is crap for web design.)

Yeah, Wyltbam, I read your blog and love the photos. I just hate email so I'm not responding and I'm a lazy jackass bastard so I'm not calling either.

Here's your cute baby lemur picture of the day.

Here's to mondays. And here's to Monday evening.

--STIFLEYOURLAUGHTERWITHTHIS--

C. George, Whirled Traveler

2005-09-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

I just got a cd full of pictures my dad took on our trip to Yosemite. Yizah!

Sputnik, but smaller

2005-09-26T10:58:00.000-07:00

I just had a conversation about China with a friend of mine. It's amazing how different the views on the issue of censorship are.

My view is that censorship in China may eventually be something that destroys the government but it will take a long time, if it ever happens. Not being upset by what the government is doing is worse than being upset and not being able to do anything.

My friend's view is that if the Chinese people are ok just doing a 9-5, making money and getting what news they can through the government, what's wrong with that?

The argument against that is that government released news is in editorial form, with only the pro or the con, never both. Take Taiwan for example. On the Chinese mainland you will only find one opinion in the newspapers. The editors know that they will be jailed if they don't print anti-independance pieces. Then the people only get one view-point. How are they supposed to think differently? The generation that is my age (mid 20s) has only ever known communism. They don't know freedom of the press, democracy or even what else is out there.

There is a humanist idea that sees the human spirit as able to overcome any kind of oppression. While I'd like to believe this, and while it makes for great cinema, it takes information for the brain to be creative enough to even envision freedom. And humans are known for taking the path of least resistance. Will people ever rise up? Yes. Remember Tienamen Square. Will it work? Probably not. Remember Tienamen Square.

I think that as long as international organizations and governments give in to whatever the government wants to do in China, we'll see oppression of thought, life and freedom continue unchecked. It won't end and because the system perpetuates itself, we won't see revolution and we won't see improvement in the quality of life. Look at Cuba.

--ANELIGIBLEINDEPENDENT--